Brian,
I'm trying to think how to do a summary review of this exchange. Maybe I'll just write something starting impressionistically rather than going to each point of exchange from your last post.
You say something like "let people have whatever kind of sex they please".
I reply "I'm not stopping anybody from having sex ".
You say "Well, the government is stopping people and some people turn their noses up at us for doing it . And I want you to help me change that, because these sexings do no harm to anyone. "
I say, "why should I spend my time on that ? Why does it concern me ? S/M is not against the law is it ? As far as individuals feeling s/m is icky, so what ? I'm not going to go around trying to persuade people that s/m is not icky. (They'll think I'm icky :>))
If you and Yoshie say it actually is not what we think. Then I say, why not change the name, since sadism and maschoism have a certain connotation that evidently you say is not accurate for what some people are doing. But I still haven't seen anything in what you said as to why I should do anything on behalf of s/m liberation/self-determination. You said it doesn't harm me but it concerns me. How does it concern me ? Why should I care whether or not you can have s/m sex ?
There are other things in the exchange, and you can bring them back up if you want.
Charles