do you really believe that patents reflect real technical output? for example, some agribusiness in texas tried to patent "basmati" rice (a type of rice that has been produced in india for 100s of years). amazon.com patented "one click shopping". etc. etc. if you are willing to spot a few thousand dollars for each, i can help you write up and gain as many patents as you wish ;-). IIRC, mp's "steal this idea" has some good material on how the patent office works.
--ravi