>Yeah well.... as a former idiot....
>
>There are two places you meet people in life: at school and at work. If
>you can't have sex with those people, that doesn't leave much.
That's why the sex harrasment policies I've seen acknowledge this. And, I've partcipated in one uni's implementation of the new policy. We had training sessions which discussed these sorts of things and outlined options.
If it's that important, then most people can wait until the semester is over. If you can't, there are options. E.g., one of our new hires fell in love with one of her grads students, though the love affair blossomed after he was in her course. They sat down with her chair, everything was peachy. They married and nine months later, she gave birth. Not dating students while at university is _recommended_, and the policy spells out why it's not, but it doesn't prohibit it. It did and does prohibit dating students, whether you're a TA, a teaching fellow, an adjunct, or a professor of any stripe.
In your day, it was quite different. My mother dated her prof (he was actually an adjunct on temp assignment). He became my step father. My mentor dated his grad student, now his wife of 20 yrs. My best friend dated her prof, also a mentor of mine. Before there were any rules, though, he voluntarily gave up his grading duties for the independent study and asked someone else to take them on. He wasn't actually a fan of PC bullshit, he just knew the difference between right and wrong. He also wanted to protect both of them from accusations of favoritism and the like. Which is why I didn't date my student 'til he graduated, even though I could have. Neither one of us needed those accusations circulating.
Every single one of those couples could have waited 'til the semester was over. Simple as that. Hey! build up the tension and wait awhile. That's an aspect of S/M they should appreciate! Or figure out an alternative for the student, such as finishing up class as an independent study with a colleague. She can take an incomplete and take the class from someone else. If it's that important there are plenty of options and you owe it to yourself and your student to do the right thing. If it's just fucking, that's not really the kind of companionship you're talking about, is it?
When you were teaching, no one gave two hoots, though I'm curious, did you catch any heat?. What was the reaction? There was a big tra-la-la about my mother who was much older than my stepfather. No one cared about the grading issue back then, mid 80s. IT was the age thing. He was only a few years older than me. The shame!
Kelley