First, I met my wife-to-be in a usenet group. I should say that because usenet groups allow the person to consider their answers, post long (or short) responses to other statements, the post and subject line stays up for eternity and anyone can jump in, it really is a good place to meet people.
Anyhow, because of the stigma involved in saying that we met over the internet, we kept this close to our chests with the general public, but had to be honest with the families. Most of them thought it was indeed rather unusual, followed with questions like "Do you *really* know what your getting into?" etc. But the neatest thing was to come out of the mouth of the oldest. She said that it was like a "fairy tale" and that it "reminded her of her youth"!
What!??? Yes. She said that in "her day", it was common for people to initially meet and correspond by letter. Long term relationships would develop without the two people ever having met each other. They would profess love , talk dirty, tell secrets , etc. all by mail and without having actually met. They fell in love BY MAIL.
It struck me at the time as being a rather ironic turn of events. That the invention of the PC has come around full circle , back to the days of the the preceding centuries when people courted each other by mail. And as such, when you think about it, it was only the period when the telephone and the car were in place that people meeting, and falling in love without having met in person, seemed weird.
Anyhow, I thought I'd present that little vignette for the lists consideration. For me at least, it was rather a startling realization when it first dawned on me.
Cheers <g>
Gary Williams
joanna wrote:
> We weren't talking about sexual harrassment, we were talking about
> consensual sex between grownups. There's a real issue as to whether
> consensual sex can occur between "teachers" and "students"...but then
> there's a question as to whether consensual sex can occur between any
> two people related by a power relation. Dworkin's alleged definition of
> intercourse as "rape" hinges on this perception.
>
> Students and teachers at the college level are both adults and can make
> informed decisions about sex. I'm not saying sex between
> teachers/students at the college level is not a problem, I'm just saying
> that the category of "teacher" and "student" only partly define men and
> women, and that there are circumstances in which their humanity and
> sexuality should rightfully trump these other, insitutionally-defined
> categories. I also think it would be wise to wait till class is over.
>
> There are legal definitions of rape and harrassment, and these should
> hold and apply whether you're a teacher, student, fireman, nurse,
> electrician, etc. Outside of that, consensual acts between adults are
> just that.
>
> I completely understand that sexual relations with students is
> considered to be one of the perks of academic employment and are enjoyed
> as such by many. That doesn't mean that sexual relations between
> students and teachers are only about that.
>
> Joanna
>
> Michael Dawson wrote:
>
>>>>From: joanna
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>I understand about the power relations. I do. I'm
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>not saying it's not
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>an issue. I'm just not sure that it's as cut and
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>dry as you make it
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>out to be.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>Agreed. If you dont meet them at work or school,
>>>where are you going to meet them? There are so few
>>>public spaces in the United States. Of course, then
>>>there is match.com....the Internet is about the only
>>>public space left.
>>>
>>>
>>
>>Pardon the pun, but tough titty, dude! I disagree with Joanna. It's
>>actually more cut and dried than Snit put it. If you sexually harass a
>>student, you are just daring the student to sue the living shit out of the
>>school for failure to supervise. It is a job condition, and a good one.
>>
>>If you want to meet people to nail in academia, wait your turn, or nail your
>>co-workers like everybody else.
>>
>>___________________________________
>>http://mailman.lbo-talk.org/mailman/listinfo/lbo-talk
>>
>>
>>
>
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