Yulia and Misha, A Mile-High Sex Tale
By Kevin O'Flynn Staff Writer Russia's relations with Ukraine and Georgia may be less than ideal, but they could hit a new moral and diplomatic low with the shooting of a blue movie parodying Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili and Ukrainian Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko.
"Yulia," an erotic tale of powerful man-meets-woman with peasant-braid hairstyle, has been partly written by Alexei Mitrofanov, deputy leader of the ultranationalist Liberal Democratic Party.
The film, in which the two main characters join the mile-high club during a tryst on a helicopter, begins shooting next week and looks set for its theatrical release at underpasses and train stations across Moscow by the end of the year.
"They'll be called Yulia and Mikheil, but without surnames. Everyone, however, can see that they are VIPs," said Mitrofanov, who is known for his sharp tongue and nationalist rhetoric.
"There will be no real names, as we don't want any arguments with heads of state," he said.
However, Yulia will definitely have Tymoshenko's trademark Princess Leia-esque hairdo, he insisted, just in case anyone did not understand whom the film would be about.
The film, a relative quickie at 20 to 30 minutes long, is set in Moscow and was inspired by rumors of a dalliance between the two leaders. "The idea appeared after they were seen together in a helicopter at a summit," Mitrofanov said.
The television pictures of the two caused an argument between Saakashvili and his Dutch-born wife, Sandra Roelofs, Mitrofanov said, without disclosing where he had come by this piece of gossip.
The film will be a musical, he said, and will end with a sex scene in a helicopter.
Ukrainian and Georgian officials were less than amused.
"Our opinion is that this doesn't fit into human morality," said Nikolai Novosad, the first secretary of the Ukrainian Embassy in Moscow.
"It's just a way to blacken the name of the Georgian government," Saakashvili spokesman Temur Grigalashvili said by telephone from Tbilisi. "But nothing will come of it. Zhironovsky appeared in Playboy, while Mitrofanov is also a pervert and decided to make this perverse movie."
Grigalashvili said the Georgian government would simply ignore the movie and did not plan to issue any protest.
Until now, political figures have mainly appeared in their own amateur porn movies, taped secretly and passed onto the media as compromising materials. One such video in 1999 showed a man resembling then-Prosecutor General Yury Skuratov cavorting with two prostitutes in a brothel.
The producer of "Yulia," Vasily Valov, said the elegant Tymoshenko held a special fascination for Russian audiences.
"She is the sex symbol of the Ukrainian revolution," he said. "She appears almost as much as Putin on television."
Tymoshenko, he said, had posed in Playboy. In fact, a photo of a fully dressed Tymoshenko was featured in the Polish edition of Playboy.
Ukrainian film directors have already decided to answer Mitrofanov's film with their own blue, or rather orange, movie, Grigalashvili said. The erotic movie is to be called "Sladky Volodya i Goluboi Vitya," or "Sweet Volodya and Gay Vitya," and will feature porn-alikes of President Vladimir Putin and Ukrainian opposition leader Viktor Yanukovych, Grigaslashvili said.
Playing Tymoshenko, 44, in Mitrofanov's movie will be Russia's latest sex symbol, Lena Berkova, a Ukrainian-born teenage reality-show contestant who became the country's biggest-selling porn star.
Berkova's porn debut, which was filmed before the reality show was made, was little known until she appeared on "Dom-2."
Bootleg entrepreneurs soon renamed the film and rushed it out all over the former Soviet Union under the title of "Dom-2: How to Make Love to Lena Berkova." An estimated 2 million copies of the film have been sold.
"More than 'Nochnoi Dozor,'" Valov said approvingly.
No one has yet been cast in the role of Saakashvili, but the mischievous have already suggested that Rodina party leader Dmitry Rogozin, who bears a passing resemblance to the Georgian leader, could play the role of Saakashvili.
"I think we will suggest it. He is similar, he doesn't need any make-up," Mitrofanov said. In an earlier interview, Mitrofanov said Rogozin was too expensive and that it would be cheaper to cast Nicole Kidman.
Mitrofanov, whose LDPR party has been stridently critical of the new governments in Georgia and Ukraine and the Rose and Orange revolutions that brought them to power, denied the film was a cheap PR stunt and said he was not worried about the Ukrainian and Georgian reactions.
"They need to see it first. Maybe they will make me persona non grata as a great director," Mitrofanov said.
Mitrofanov said that he was upset when he heard about former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev appearing in a Pizza Hut commercial, but liked the subtlety of the ad when he saw it.
The sex in "Yulia" is one of the main creative differences between Mitrofanov and Valov, with the politician arguing for a more hardcore version than the producer.
"I want the sex to be softer, and Alexei wants it harder," said Valov, whose idea of soft may not be everyone's.
Valov also produces an all-girl pop group called Min Net, a play on minet, the Russian word for oral sex.
http://www.moscowtimes.ru/stories/2005/08/10/001.html
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