--- Mike Ballard <swillsqueal at yahoo.com.au> wrote:
> I'm delighted that Santa Claus was a Turk.
>
Oh, there is more Turkish connections in xtianity. The cathedral of Bruges (otherwise a beautiful medieval town about 1 hour train ride from Brussels, definitely worth seeing) makes a big production of storing "holy blood" allegedly belonging to the venerated dead man on a stick, aka Jesus Christ. The "holy blood" was brought to Bruges by the crusaders around the 12th century - which means some twelve hundered years after the said man died on the stick. So how can anyone with even half a brain believe that his blood survived that long in the liquid form without coagulating is beyond me.
However, the vessel in which the "holy blood" is stored is believed to be manufactured in Istanbul around the 11th century, i.e. when the product was acquired by the crusaders. Therefore, the chances are that the blood of "Our Saviour" vernerated with fanfare in Bruges is in fact that of a Turkish pig or other domestic animal.
I can picture how the transaction took place (I bought an "antique" Turkish vessel at the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul in a smilar fashion):
Turkish merchant: "Mister, mister, where are you from?
France? Germany?"
Crusader: "From Flanders"
Turkish merchant: "Oh, Flanders. Beatiful country, good people, and nice lace that you are making. We like Flemish people here, and I will offer you a very special deal that I would offer to no one else"
He lowers his voice: "The blood of Jesus Christ."
Crusader: "Wow, Can I see it?"
Turkish merchant turns around and says in Turkish to his assistant: "Grab that parfume vial and run to the butcher and fill it with fresh blood, any blood. Quickly!" He turns to the crusader: "Sir, you of course realize that it is a very special item and I do not keep it here. It is stored in a safe place. I just told my assistant to fetch it."
Crusader: "Good. How much do you want for it?"
Turkish merchant: "I have a very special deal for you, my friend, just because you are Flemish. I will give it to you only for a hundred gold."
Crusader: "Hundred gold? That is a lot."
Turkish merchant: "That is nothing for the blood of your saviour. Can you imagine how famous it will make you in Flanders? What city are you from?"
Crusader: "Brugge" (Flemish for Bruges)
Turkish merchant: "Oh Brugge. What a beuatiful city. We call it Venice of the north here. Can you imagine the gratitude of the good people of Brugge when you bring them blood of Jesus Christ?"
Crusader (thinks for a while): "How about twenety gold?"
Turkish merchant: "Sir, that insults not just me, I am just a small merchant, but also your saviour. Twenty gold for his blood? The Germans would not haggle like that, they would gladly pay a hundred or more if they could put their hands on it. But I do not like them Krauts, so I offered it to you."
Crusader: "Well I do not have a hundred gold on me. Let me go back to my camp and see how much I can find." He turns around ready to leave.
Turkish merchant: "Wait, wait. How about fifty gold?"
Crusader: "Twenty five."
Turkish merchant: "Sir, that is like giving it away. Thirty five is my final offer."
Crusader: "How about thirty"
Turkish merchant: "No, no. Thirty five is my final offer."
Crusader: "Well, I do not have thirty five on me."
Turkish merchant: "How much do you have?"
Crusader: "thirty three gold and some silver."
Turkish merchant: "Ok, just because you are my friend, I will give it to you for thrity three gold, you can keep the silver."
Store assistant brings in a parfume vial filled with fresh blood. The Turkish merchant wraps it carefuly and hands it to the Crusader: "Here it is, Sir. Holy blood of your savior."
Crusader (handing him thity three gold): 'Here is thirty three gold."
Turkish merchant: "It was a pleasure doing business with you. Have good stay in Istanbul. By the way, I know someone who has a splinter from the holy cross for sale. If you are interested, I can take you there. It is just a few shops from here."
Crusader: "No thank, you. Not this time. Have a good day."
Happy xmas, anyone?
Wojtek
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