"Is there any real world society that you think leads the way to the anarchist future, the way social democrats can point to Sweden?"
At a certain point far enough back in history, there was no real-world society that pointed the way to capitalist society (social-democratic or otherwise). And before that, there was nothing that pointed the way towards feudalism, and before that, etc. And before that, there was nothing that pointed towards human beings actually existing, let alone creating any sort of society at all.
"Yeah, but that military can leave your country a wreck. Vietnam has suffered from its victory for 30 years - unexploded bombs, herbicides, sanctions - and Iraq is looking like hell's waiting room. One would hope for a better outcome for a political experiment."
Let's not forget that the conditions that led to the creation of modern social democracy left Europe an utter wreck less than a century ago.
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