Confessions of a human bomb from Palestine by Hujayra al 'Arabi Dedicated to my brothers and sisters in Resistance in Iraq and in the Arab Nation
Excerpts
>...I do not want to die. I am not in love with death. I am not even
'half in love with easeful death' like the English poet. I want to
live. I want to have a home filled with children, and I still want to
be a doctor. From the age of about six, I dreamed of becoming a
doctor, of being able to save lives. I wanted to do something real
that would save the lives of my people...
The human bomb provides an example of that selflessness, demonstrating unequivocally that no life can be considered more valuable than the future of our people. The human bomb acts for all, not for himself or herself. 'Use me as a weapon of your will,' the human bomb declares. 'Let my life be sacrificed for the future of all our people.' This is emphatically not the act of some one committing suicide! Suicide is a selfish act, the act of some one who repudiates life and embraces death as a solution. The human bomb does not repudiate life at all. The human bomb embraces death as a comrade in arms, acting as a weapon for the cause of justice and freedom from Occupation.
Do I believe in the Hereafter? I honestly do not know what lies beyond this existence, because I am nothing more than a human being, whose understanding is limited to our life on this earth. I would like to believe. I do believe in God, and I believe that 'Inna lillahi wa inna illahi rajaoun' that we come from God and to God is our return, but as God is unknowable and unfathomable, so is His Will and any reality beyond this world is beyond my sight. As far as I am concerned, what counts most is what I do here and now. I want to perform the right action for the right reason, with honour and purity of intent. At this point in history, the best action is that taken by the human bomb.
Holy Qur'an states: 'Wa la taHsabanna alladhina qutillu fi Sabilillahi 'amwatan.' 'Do not think of those who are killed in the way of Allah as being dead.' To me, it is not of the hereafter alone that this verse speaks, but of the fact that the memory of a life sacrificed in the way of justice and truth never dies. It stands as an example to be followed, but more than that, it is an _expression of faith in our cause. If I and other human bombs are willing to die in this horrible fashion for our people, does that not prove that hope for our future cannot be lost?
To be killed 'fee Sabilillahi', 'in the way or path of Allah', is to die for selfless reasons, in my opinion. That is why the human bomb, along with our other heroic martyrs, is one who truly can be said to have been slain 'fee Sabilillahi', because he or she has been slain in the pursuit of justice and freedom from Occupation. Nor can it be considered suicide to launch oneself as a weapon AGAINST the enemy. The goal of the action of the human bomb is not his or her own death! The goal is to strike a resounding blow against the enemy. If our own deaths are required, then so be it, but we do not go out seeking our own deaths. Let that be very clear. The act of the human bomb is the ultimate act of protest against the extermination of our people.
If our people go to the slaughter without protest, we will cease to exist. Let the world look to the Zionist actions and see that, whatever fairytales they tell, their actions speak of the need to exterminate us, to wipe us off the face of the homeland. Their entire culture, religion and government is based upon a racist premise, that the Jew and only the Jew belongs on this land. Despite history, despite any reality that proves their premise unconscionable and unsupported by logic or reason, they do not falter in their goal. Look to it, World, for those who are not Jewish, be they Arab, Gentile or anything else, are not considered their equals and they are not by their morality or religion required to treat you as they do their fellow Jews. Until the Jew decides to join the human race, there can be no dealing of equal with equal. It is written in their Talmud.
Enough of them, though. I must prepare for the ultimate act of resistance against this Occupation and I will not go to my death with ugliness and brutality in my thoughts. I will think instead of the symphony of the sea beating against the rocks... of the perfume of wild thyme rising from sun-baked hills... of the olive tree heavy with fruit that my great grandfather planted but that exists now only in our memories... of my mother's smile, encompassing a world of hope veiled in tears... of the roses, vines and birds she embroidered on my thob... of the Tree of Life and mihrab door to heaven embroidered over my heart... the mystical homeland she created in red, white, green and black, the colours of our land Palestine.
They call us 'terrorists' but it is an absurdity to think that they, who hold the power of life and death over our entire people each and every day, could be terrorised by us. We have nothing but our determination and our willingness to make the ultimate sacrifice. Our bombs consist of a handful of nails propelled, along with our flesh and bones, by the crudest of explosives. They can and have shown that they are willing to reduce an entire city to rubble in a single day, and make thousands homeless. When they have all the technology that this new century holds, who is the real terrorist in Palestine or indeed, throughout the world?
Yet it is true that the enemy fears Death in a way that we do not fear it. After all, why should we fear to meet the One who created us? The Christians have a beautiful prayer: 'Hatta idha ajtaztu wadi dhilali al mawt, la akhafu suwan liannaka turafiquni.' God is the Comrade who never abandons us, even in the valley of the shadow of Death. It is not Death that I fear, but the silence of extinction. Death does not extinguish the flame of our existence. The crown of the Martyr by tradition is Immortality. It is not my own immortality that I seek but that of the cause of our people.
We are a strong people. We are steadfast. That is not enough to prevail against the machinery of Death that has been set in motion against us. The fact that we have survived a century of genocide speaks eloquently of our strength and steadfastness, but how much longer can we endure? Those who robbed us originally of our land die peacefully in their beds of old age, having spawned another two or three generations of robbers and thieves. Those offspring convince themselves that they bear no responsibility for the continuing deprivation of our people as they invite more robbers into our homeland, while herding more of our people over the bridge to exile. They will not listen to the voice of justice. They speak of 'peace' when they have made the word an obscenity.
Salaam is not simply peace. Salaam is peace with justice. When true peace exists, all is right with the world. When true peace exists, justice has been served and people do not live as slaves or on mere suffrance under an oppressive and foreign occupation. Do not speak to us of your counterfeit Peace.
Salaam is peace but it must be won now through sacrifice. I go now to win that Peace for Palestine.
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Michael Pugliese