I wonder how much of the "no interest in sex" category comes from those who are gay but unable to express their sexuality.
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Yes, there's certainly that but other possibilities come to mind.
Even with the stars properly aligned -- with good health and good spirits and lusty intent and clean, lightly perfumed skin our sexual fire tends to vary in intensity from one day to the next.
And that's when all is well.
When things are going very wrong -- when your mate's a problem and not a help (not really a mate at all) and perhaps other parts of your life are painful splinters pushed beneath your fingernails -- sexual passion can seem to disappear entirely, like a star that's died by collapsing into itself.
The longer these bad times last, the more distant the memory (if you even have one) of what wild desire is like recedes into the past.
I honestly cannot count how many times I've listened to women friends tell me -- usually after a lengthy and unsatisfying relationship has dissolved -- that they have zero desire for sex. But in nearly all of these situations this was a long, silent moment that, although it seemed to drift with the sinister majesty of a glacier, suddenly and joyfully passed away once someone who 'just felt right' or with whom they 'clicked' arrived on the scene.
One of my most uninhibited girlfriends was a woman who told me for months and months before we began hungrily grabbing each other that for her, sexual fun was a thing of the past. She 'simply didn't want it anymore' she declared. And I believed her because she was a forthright person telling the truth.
But this feeling -- which seemed as ancient as the pyramids -- was the result of her long, emotionally difficult relationship with a man who was burdened with the mind of a 12 year old: a fine thing for a 12 year old boy but a significant problem at 29.
Once that was over and done and some time had passed for her to recuperate, she discovered (actually, we discovered, and I thank Aphrodite for the chance to learn) that her libido wasn't gone after all but had only been taking cover waiting for the right moment to step back into the light.
.d.