[ MONDAY, MAY 16, 2005 12:04:30 AM ]
American couples are meeting the spiralling costs of weddings by asking their friends and guests for money. Crystal, toasters and other gifts are being shunned in favour of a bare-faced appeal for cash.
"We are happy to invite you to our wedding. PS: Please bring your cheque book," said one invitation from a couple who explained that they already had all the linen and household goods that they needed.
No matter how startled they may be, friends are paying.
Georgia Lawther-Richmond, 27, from New York went to a wedding in Oregon recently. Instead of sending out a traditional gift list, the bride and groom posted an Internet appeal for contributions towards wedding and honeymoon items.
Lawther-Richmond offered to split the cost of the honeymoon rental car. "We sent the money straight to the travel agent," she said.
With an average New York wedding costing USD 40,000, the big day is often beyond the means of parents and couples.
Wesley Puryear and Valerie Hernandez are able to spend USD 51,000 on their August nuptials, complete with a string quartets, by tapping guests for USD 150 a head to recover half the cost.
Wells Fargo bank has set up a 'Wishing Well' service. "Instead of registering for dishes and wall hangings, have your guests help out with the burdens of the cost of the wedding itself," it advises.
Peggy Post, an American expert on etiquette, says that asking guests to pay is "inexcusably rude".
Fadi Kheir, a New York photographer, said people wanted celebrity style weddings but could not afford them.
"Asking friends to help out is one way," he said. "I suppose it's not that different from taking back their gifts and getting the cash."
The trend is beginning to catch on in Britain. Andrew Chinneck, 26, a customer adviser for a bank, and Jodie Devine, 26, from London, have set up a joint account into which guests can pay their "gifts".
The cash will clear pre-wedding debts. "We have all the household items we need. What we need is to start our new life with as little debt as possible," said Chinneck.
The Sunday Times, London
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-1111096,curpg-1.cms