Roasting Rahm Emanuel:
Several of Washington's biggest names turned out last night to roast Rep. Rahm Emanuel. The roast was held to benefit CURE, Citizens United to Cure Epilepsy, a non-profit organization headed by Susan Axelrod, the wife of Democratic media consultant David Axelrod.
The Googling monkeys held a secret ballot after last night's event, and here, in reverse order, are our picks for the top six barbs of the night:
6. After ticking off the highlights of Emanuel's work as a Clinton White House adviser (i.e., signing the Brady Bill, passing NAFTA, engineering the Arafat-Rabin handshake), Paul Begala, the evening's emcee, said that all of the above meant that "history will now record" Emanuel "as someone who took guns away from law-abiding citizens, shipped jobs to Mexico and brought a terrorist to the White House South Lawn."
5. Believing that the "hawkishness on the part of Democrats and liberals will continue to grow" as we move closer to 2008, the New York Times' Bill Safire suggested a possible bumper sticker if "a couple of guys from Illinois" make it onto the Democratic ticket together: "Invade & Bomb with Hillary & Rahm."
4. To give the audience a sense of how much money Emanuel made as an investment banker after leaving the White House, former Commerce Secretary Bill Daley said: "In 2002, Kerry proposed to him."
3. More Daley on Emanuel: "He's telegenic. He's pro-stem cell research. . . . So, basically, he's Ronald Reagan with a bris."
2. Even more Daley: "The only thing that stands between us and the White House in 2008 is Bob Shrum."
1. Sen. Hillary Clinton said she was familiar with Emanuel's reputation as abrasive and "just a little bit feminine." She said, however, that she didn't much mind. "That's how Fox News describes me," she said.
Blizzard of Lies: Safire and Clinton Set the Record Straight:
At last night's roast, Bill Safire and Hillary Clinton showed that they could play nice.
Back in 1996, Safire wrote in his New York Times column: "Americans of all political persuasions are coming to the sad realization that our First Lady - a woman of undoubted talents who was a role model for many in her generation - is a congenital liar."
Mike McCurry, the White House spokesman at the time, responded to Safire's column by saying: "The President, if he were not the President, would have delivered a more forceful response to that on the bridge of Mr. Safire's nose."
At last night's event, Safire recycled his joke that what he meant to write was that Hillary Clinton was a "congenial lawyer."
When the former First Lady took the podium, she said that what her husband really thought was: "what pathetic prose."
The delivery of the attack on Safire's cherished talent, as well as the accompanying icy glare, were (if not Emmy-award winning) certainly worthy of a statuette nomination. The crowd clearly scored the exchange a KO for Clinton, as apparently did Safire, who we're told went straight up to her after the event with everything but a white flag and conceded something to the effect of, "that was a really quick and impressive quip."