By Craig Wilson, USA TODAY Mon Apr 10, 7:17 AM ET
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"Our concept is to build a one-stop shop of resources," says Barbie Adler, founder of 6-year-old Selective Search, where 100 well-heeled men - CEOs, professional athletes and the like - pay an annual fee of $10,000 for 15 "introductions" to some of the 30,000 "bright and talented" women she has in her database.
"They're not just arm candy, although we have that, too," she says. The women, called "affiliates," pay nothing to get in the game. Over the years, Wexler has found them mostly through word of mouth.
"We're the surrogate females in (clients' lives) until we can get them a female of their own," Adler says. "Our client is busy. They believe in outsourcing."
"We're the wing women," Wexler adds.
The 15 women who work with Adler and Wexler, in addition to finding wives, redecorate the bachelor pad, secure theater tickets, even clean out the guy's closet.
"Everything" also includes bringing up touchy subjects like nose hair, stained teeth and, heaven forbid, gold chains. (In short, get rid of all three.)
Lifestyle consulting is a growing industry in America, professionals who help clients who don't have the time to help themselves. But Adler and Wexler have taken the profession to the next level, helping with a man's marital status along with everything else. Now and then they even act as coach.
Many say lifestyle consultants are providing the "That doesn't look right on you" feedback formerly offered by family and friends. And now you can hire Adler to say, "She's not right for you."
"It's important to get an outside perspective," says Michael Biondo of Michael Biondo Lifestyle Design, a lifestyle consultant in Manhattan who charges $1,500 a day.
"I give an unbiased opinion. I can say what's working for you and what isn't. ... Everybody needs a little rah-rah at times. Someone in their corner. Someone to say 'You're looking great!' "
Biondo says no one knew what a personal stylist was a few years ago. "Now they're looking for someone to help with all areas of their life. ... It's easier to have one person do everything for them."
And do it well: Adler's success rate for hook-ups is 85%, mainly because everyone is vetted, right down to making sure photos are not only real, but recent.
"We're not just a dating service where we slap bodies together. Or the Internet, where people lie. We do all the lab work first."
And Adler, like Biondo, prides herself in honesty: All her men aren't George Clooney.
"We often say, 'Listen, you wouldn't find him on a billboard,' " Adler says. "But not all women want the same thing." As she likes to say, "there's a lid for every pot."
"You find out a lot about a guy from his closet," Wexler says. "A closet can house a lot of neuroses."
Most of her clients don't like to shop, so she shops for them, bringing clothes by the house after work or to the office. Just last Friday, Wexler drove across town to drop off a pair of brown shoes for a client who made a fortune in real estate. "He needed brown shoes badly," she says.
As for flowers, Wexler always recommends a mixed bouquet. A client who owns islands in Fiji agreed, and he sent a $350 extravaganza to a prospective wife just last week.
"What we're finding is that as we get more and more integrated into our clients' lives, we find ourselves offering more and more services," says Chantal Boxer of Fini Concierge, a personal service company in Boston.
Amelia Hughes, 34, and her husband, Jonathan, 36, have been Fini clients for a year and already have signed up for the monthly package ($250 for eight hours).
"It started out with them doing our Saturday errands and evolved into them spending a lot of time on travel details for a trip to Thailand," says Amelia Hughes, a wine consultant. "We were using frequent-flier miles and they got us into first class. ... And once, when we both got sick on a plane, they even dropped off stuff at the house for us to eat and drink. They're an integral part of our life now."
Kim France, editor in chief of Lucky magazine, the shopper's bible, calls Adler and Wexler's operation "the ultimate shopping experience."
"This kind of styling, personal shopping, has existed for years. It's nothing new for women or men," she says. "But what's interesting is the marriage angle, the fact they'll help you with your wardrobe and your home to get you a wife."
Wexler, 36 and single herself, heads up the Chicago operation, with other personal stylists based in Atlanta, Dallas, New York and San Francisco. The stylists' services are not included in the $10,000 find-a-wife fee. They're extra: $150 an hour, with a minimum of 10 hours.
Kardos came to Substance Meets Style because he trusted Adler, an old friend and neighbor. So far he hasn't met Ms. Right, but he did meet Wexler, which at this point he thinks is just as good. Maybe better.
Especially when he got a promotion at his accounting firm and realized his wardrobe and life "needed to go to the next level."
The dating thing, he says, "was more a 'Why not? What's the worst that could happen?' There's no downside and the upside is ridiculous."
The problem is Kardos' promotion has left little time to date, a problem Wexler and Adler see all the time. "We try to convince men that life is short, especially when they tell us they can't start dating for three years or so."
Another problem is high-powered clients who are reluctant to give up control, even though they're paying for the help.
"It's hard for them," Wexler says. "I had one client who had never worn jeans, even in casual settings. I had to tell him he dressed like his dad. That kind of sobered him up."
"It's not about changing someone," Adler says. "It's about making someone into the best person they can be."
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