[If Corddrey wrote this, this is one if his two best moments ever]
<begin excerpt>
Jon Stewart: Rob, what exactly is the danger to having a firm from Dubai running our ports?
Rob Corddrey: No real danger, Jon. They won't control security and the company has a perfect safety record. It's just that it sounds bad to have the United Arab Emirates in charge. It'd be like me telling you that your colon was host to a massive colony of lacto-bacilli.
Jon: That does sound bad.
Rob: Yes it does *sound* bad Jon, but they're the bacteria that keep your gastrointestinal tract from exploding with uncontrollable diarrhea. So I guess you could say that Dubai is the lacto-bacilli of American shipping.
<snip>
Jon: So basically, Rob, you're saying this whole thing is much ado about nothing.
Rob: Absolutely, Jon. The government has assured us that no matter who is running the ports, we'll still have the same criminally negligent security we've had since 9/11. Dockworkers will still not be required to have ID cards, and the inspection of shipping containers will remain at or below a paltry 5%. So Americans can still go to bed legitimately wondering whether those Sudanese freighters flying Panamanian flags of convenience are filled with suitcase nukes, rattan chairs from Pier 1 Imports, or good old fashioned Chinese sex slaves.
<end excerpt>
Michael