DUBAI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all the magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to resale the nonexistent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract attention.
QATAR SYSTEM:
You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realized that cows could produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.
SAUDI SYSTEM:
Since milking the cow involves nipples the Gov't decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other or to hire females and train them to milk the cows ... the debate is still going on.
BAHRAIN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Some high Gov't official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The Gov't tells you that there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the Gov't and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decides to employ ten Bahrainis to all milk the cow at the same time and so cut back on unemployment.
KUWAIT SYSTEM
You have two cows. You privatise them. The buyer sells them to Iraq and reminds you camel milk is better for you anyway. And camels have other attractions...
LEBANON SYSTEM:
You have two cows. One is controlled by Muslims and the other is controlled by Christians. Hizbollah shoots the cows and the Syrians get the blame. Or Syria shoots the cows and Hizbollah gets the blame, or something. Anyhow, the cows die.
EGYPTIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Both are voting for Mobarak!
AMERICAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
FRENCH SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you wanted three cows.
RUSSIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
BRITISH SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Both are mad.
NEW ZEALAND SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You give one to the British, make the other Prime Minister, and go back to shagging sheep!
KOREAN SYSTEM
You have two cows. You claim to have cloned them. You are found out and retire in disgrace.
INDIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Poor starving Muslims slaughter one of the cows for the meat. Enraged Hindus spend years slaughtering every Muslim they can set their eyes on. In the meantime the remaining cow is dead. Now everybody is starving.
Have a great day!