How does one become a Christian?
Do you interview the various denominational representatives (churches and so on), pick the one that fits you, and go through some ceremony?
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Of course, I can't speak for others but I went through a rigorous process that included wrestling grenade tossing bears, assembling an anti-proton gun while blindfolded, buttocks paddling with Christ shaped paddles and Saturday night "social" trips to S. Jersey roller rinks or, as I called them at the time, the 'I'm gonna get laid tonight' youth entertainment complexes.
But I kid. I'm a kidder. Well, except about the hot church sex. Those Saturday nights were sterling.
Here's how it happened with me...
My family is, by cultural legacy, Southern Baptist so I was born into the Protestant belief structure. Even so, one of the central tenets of Christianity is free choice: that is to say, you must choose or accept Christ as your "personal savior."
How is this done?
It's quite simple really (unless you want to join one of the more ancient sects like Roman Catholicism or some flavor of Eastern Orthodoxy - the entry requirements tend to be a bit more complex). You're in a church, the sermon has finished. The minister "opens the doors of the church". The music swells. The choir sings sweetly - if you're lucky that is. Not all choirs are good.
The minister asks "will anyone here accept Christ?" and similar invitations to leave behind your life of sin. He (or,more rarely, she) stands on the podium - or perhaps on the floor with the parishioners - with hands out-stretched. You're moved to tears. The divorce, the scotch, the weather control machine...you're full of regrets for all of it. How can you avoid the eternal fires of Hell? There's a way.
You leave your seat and walk down the central aisle towards the Minister. You stand beside him/her. The organist's hands land more heavily on the electronic organ's keys . Hosanna! A soul has surrendered to Christ!
...
Later, perhaps, only a week later, you're standing in a pool of water wearing a white robe. This is done in remembrance of Christ's baptism by John the Baptist (Wikipedia, sisters and brothers, if you're unfamiliar). The minister loudly utters a prayer and dunks you beneath the water's surface.
Congratulations! You're a Christian. Enjoy the fried chicken and chocolate cake the lovely ladies of the church have prepared, served in the basement after services.
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.d.
--------- Robot ants, robot ants! It's always robot ants with you isn't it Monroe!