[lbo-talk] "S-U-C-K in the USA" -- a take on Nat'l Review's top 50 conservative rock songs

[B.]

http://syndicalist.livejournal.com/427236.html


"S-U-C-K in the USA"
by syndicalist

[...]

National Review rock 'n roller John J. Miller, who
compiled the "Top 50 Conservative Rock Songs" that the
New York Times faithfully reprinted, was a fellow at
The Heritage Foundation. It's not too hard to imagine
Miller at work there, enjoying a Coors, perhaps
browsing through the Foundation's Christian Voice
archives, when fellow Heritage Foundation member Steve
Forbes comes banging angrily on his door.


STEVE FORBES: Dammit, Miller, what is that racket
coming from your office!?

JOHN J. MILLER: Hey Steve-o, it's just a little IRON
MAIDEN. Powerslave, to be precise. Fucking classic.
Check out this riff. (*adjusts volume nob*)

FORBES: Yes, yes, John, that's all well and good. But
it's distracting me from preparing my speech for Bob
Jones University on how high taxes on the rich are
causing the French to support Middle Eastern
terrorism! I just can't do it with you blasting that
damned hard rock all day and night!

MILLER: Sounds like you could use a Coors and a little
chill pill, Stevie. (*tosses Steve Forbes a cold
Coors*)

FORBES: I don't know, John. I really had my doubts
when the Heritage Foundation brought you on. I didn't
know listening to the Sex Pistols and Everclear would
be part of the deal.

MILLER: Look, bro, if you're wiggin' out on how to
write that speech on cutting taxes, here, this'll
light the flames of inspiration for you. It's a little
LP called Overkill, from Motorhead. Listen to it while
you're writing -- and think of how those high taxes on
the rich are really just liberal OVERKILL.

FORBES: (*takes CD*) Hmm, you know -- maybe ... maybe
you're right. Maybe I have been a bit too uptight
about this. Maybe I just ... Maybe I just need to
loosen my collar a bit. Kick back a little. You know
-- I think this may be a really good idea, John. Thank
you.

MILLER: No problem, bro. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got some rockin' in the free world I have to get
back to!

FORBES: (chuckling) Oh, John. You're such a cut up!



"John J. Miller is a rising star among a new
generation of conservative thinkers and writers.” --
Washington Monthly