[lbo-talk] Circulation Plunges at Major US Newspapers

[Dennis Perrin]

> Yeah, Carrol could be the paper's Andy Rooney!

INTERIOR/OFFICE

CARROL ROONEY SITTING AT CLUTTERED DESK, BOOKS STACKED UNEVENLY, A BUST OF 
MARX TO ONE SIDE. HE FINISHES JOTTING SOMETHING DOWN ON PAPER, THEN LOOKS UP 
TO CAMERA.

CARROL:
Ever notice how reactionary Democrats are? Even the "well meaning" ones? 
They just get in the way of a true and lasting people's movement. Y'know, as 
Marx might've put it (RUBS HEAD OF BUST), the Democrats serve as an opiate 
to dull the natural revolutionary senses of the working class. And the way 
they dress! What, did Robert Hall die and go to Washington? Memo to Al Gore: 
Just because you claim to save the Earth, doesn't mean you look good in 
earth tones. Save that for the next Corporate Jackals Posing As 
Environmentalists con-fab. And Nancy Pelosi -- listen, you may soon be 
Speaker of the House, so dress as though you get out of the house from time 
to time. We all know you exist to serve capital's interest at the 
legislative level, but while you're robbing the workers blind, can you at 
least find an outfit that didn't come out of June Cleaver's Salvation Army 
pile? Finally, to John Kerry: lose the 
yacht-club-navy-blue-jacket-with-the-open-collar look. We get it, already --  
you're a blue blood New England/JFK wannabe. For the love of Lenin, stick to 
crew neck sweaters and leave the Camelot stylings to Robert Goulet. And if 
you can forge another position on Iraq before lunchtime, let us know.

Look, the objective conditions for a real and lasting socialist 
transformation of society just don't exist right now. The Democrats will 
continue to police the left end of the political spectrum for some time to 
come. If we must live in a corporate cage, is it too much to ask of our 
jailers to be visually appealing? Ol' Karl here (PATS BUST) was no fashion 
plate himself, but the man had style. On that front alone, I give the guy 
high "Marx." Right, old friend? (WINKS AT BUST, THEN FALLS FLAT ON HIS 
FACE).

FADE