"From what I understand, and know directly, just about every family -- yes, just about every family has a relative who has suffered in this way."
Really? Are you saying that child sexual abuse takes place in every family? Or every other family, I cannot work out the maths. Whichever it is, I think you are wildly exaggerating.
For the last three years I have been taking my daughters to nursery and infant schools, and picking them up, and have spent a lot of time in the company of mothers and fathers. The parents I meet are not damaging their children. On the contrary, they are selflessly caring for them, cooking their tea, playing with them, and yes dressing and undressing them, bathing them and wiping their bottoms. And let me tell you that there is nothing sexual about it. You look at these parents and see potential abusers. I see the single greatest act of altruism at work in a modern society.
All of us owe our lives to the unrewarded sacrifices of our parents. And if, as I believe it to be so, we are lucky enough to find ourselves in the society of people who are for the most part well-balanced and moral individuals, who would disdain to insult, attack or rob each other, it is largely because they have been raised to it by their parents. Ninety-nine point nine per cent of parents, I would say, make a pretty good fist of it, with mistakes no doubt, but still a net addition to the well-being of us all.
This parody of Philip Larkin is attributed to Adrian Mitchell, though I couldn't confirm it:
They tuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to but they do. They give you all the quilts they have And add some pillows just for you. ...
Man hands on happiness to man. It shines out like a sweetshop shelf. So love your parents all you can And have some cheerful kids yourself.