Jesse Lemisch
----- Original Message ----- From: <JBrown72073 at cs.com> To: <lbo-talk at lbo-talk.org> Sent: Sunday, October 22, 2006 2:13 PM Subject: Re: [lbo-talk] Feminism and the False Memory Syndrome
>
> In a message dated 10/21/06 11:27:38 AM, lbo-talk-request at lbo-talk.org
writes:
>
> >> Political repression goes out of control when people make a leap from
> > a fact -- e.g., dangers of covert action exist; crimes of terrorism
> > and rape, including of children, exist; and they can be difficult to
> > prosecute -- to total suspension of skepticism, a radical downgrading
> > of legal and scientific norms, and the conclusion that all accusations
> > of heinous crimes, however lacking in evidence, must be believed.
>
> >This bring to mind the recent thread about belief in God. The idea that
> we can "just know things" without evidence, logic, or systematic
> procedures seems to appeal to many people. Let's face it:
> accepting claims based on authority ("God said it, I believe it, that
> settles it") or common sense ("kids would never lie about abuse") is
> much easier than careful and rigorous assessment.
>
> >--I'd go so far as to say that this tendency toward "easy" certainty
> is one of the main sources on misery in the world. I think we'd all
> be a lot better off if everyone were less certain about their most
> deeply held beliefs.
>
> >Miles
>
>
> But the hidden default here is that men don't do this, women must be
lying.
> So the careful and rigorous assessment is applied to the women's claim but
not
> to the men's, even though there is incredible pressure on women to be
silent
> and on men to lie.
>
> I agree with Jesse that this is all getting very abstract. In order to
say
> that Bettina is having 'false memory syndrome' you'd also have to claim
that
> she's lying that as an adult she spoke to her father about the abuse, and
he
> apologized--was sick with shame, actually, is the feeling you get from her
> account. So it's not just false memory syndrome she'd be being accused
of, it's
> also a wholesale fabrication of her adult interaction with her father
about it.
> (She also said she got therapy after she remembered, not before, so these
> stories about therapists bringing things up are only relevant if we think
Bettina
> is lying about these details and saw a therapist _before_ she recalled the
> abuse.)
>
> I read Bettina to be telling a very difficult thing that she would much
> prefer not to be telling. I find it harder to imagine a motive for
Bettina for
> lying (and lying so elaborately) than it is to imagine that the abuse
occurred.
> I suspect my reaction differs from some because I've heard so much
testimony,
> from kids and adult women about sexual abuse from fathers, grandfathers,
> stepfathers, uncles--not 'recovered memory,' most of it has nothing to do
with
> that--that I no longer have the reflexive "it can't be!" shock reaction
that comes
> from not really having much sense of the scope or range of the problem,
and
> from thinking that the men that do it are--surely, must be, monsters,
heinous
> criminals--and rare. They're not. Women talk about not only continuing
abuse
> of the kind Bettina alleges but also a continuum that ranges from one-time
> sexual wierdness with fathers (such as him beating her up for breaking the
rules
> and during the beating the girl becomes aware that he has an erection;
fathers
> making one-time passes at their 15-year olds; fathers who grope) to
> continuing abuse. At least half the women I know well enough to have
talked about it
> have had some experience of this kind, and several experienced sustained
sexual
> abuse as children.
>
> Progressive men need to get a little more honest about this. One
excellent
> ally in some child sexual abuse cases I worked on in Mississippi is a
radical
> preacher from New Orleans--he not only took men to task and said, let's
call it
> what it is, rape, but he also told on himself about sexual feelings he had
> around his daughter. So this needs to be called out for what it is--not
in a
> shocked anti-sex hysterical save-the-innocents caterwaul--but selfish male
> supremacist bullshit that must stop.
>
> Bettina said her father asked, "Did I ever hurt you when you were a
child?"
> and her answer was "yes." So he didn't know, or claimed not to know, that
this
> would or did hurt her. When told yes, he was anguished. I think this is
> very real if not typical--men justify this bad behavior by saying it isn't
> hurting anyone, carefully constructing their denial. (I suppose in some
cases
> they're simply so selfish that they don't need to bother with denial.)
>
> It's only through women and girls really calling men on it and telling
them
> they will not get away with it--and that they may be exposed--that it will
> stop. The reaction to Bettina's book is one sign of how much shit you
will get if
> you speak out, so this is something that takes considerable courage.
>
> As for 'forgetting' something for decades, I think 'forgetting' is not
really
> the right word. I have had this happen with one traumatic experience, and
> it's more like putting something in a drawer you don't open. When you
open it,
> the memory is still there, it wasn't ever gone, really, but you just
didn't
> have time or space or a way to think about it, so you didn't. If, while
the
> drawer is closed, you are asked, 'did x happen?' your answer is genuinely
'no'
> but later it might dawn on you that well, actually, 'yes.'
>
> I'm not on a jury, and it's true there would be a higher burden of proof
> there. This will never, thank god, go to a jury, since the criminal
justice
> system is not the answer to this (a strong women's liberation movement
is). But
> one reason Bettina has for talking about this is that public exposure--and
the
> fear of it--really is the most powerful leverage to get men to stop.
>
> Jenny Brown
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