Date: July 1st, 2006 7:42 PM Author: i wish i wasnt born
7:00 - wake up, jack off, shower, jack off again
7:50 - Buy bagel and coffee from cafe; dream of fucking the somewhat cute cashier girl who must wonder why I look so sad and depressed every morning
8:00 - Go into office, try not to look at old, fat, ugly, bitchy associate whose office I have to pass. God she is dumb too. Wonder what I have done in my life to deserve to work with such a stupid bitch.
8:01 - Log onto system. Check nytimes.com and stock market. Check two dozen useless e-mails, most of them from dumb ass junior female associates on the other coast who are stupid enough to send out email questions to the entire fucking firm rather than research it themselves. Wonder why it is that female associates send 90% of the dumbass e-mail questions.
8:20 - Start dreaming about fucking a hot bitch; will continue for most of morning. Wish I could close my office door and jack off.
8:30 - Start working on actual billable stuff even though I've been billing the client for my dreaming and surfing. Close door to keep out sounds of annoying fat ass secretaries. Wonder why anyone would want to waste their life being a legal secretary.
Until noon - Continue working on whatever, hoping not to be called by any other attorneys asking for help. If busy actually try to finish shit. If not busy try to waste time so I can bill more on the project and fuck over the client.
Noon - go out of office, walk down street hoping to see some hot bitches since all I see are ugly fat bitches in the office. Buy a sandwich, come back to office and eat it alone checking nytimes and billing client for the time
Afternoon - fat ass stupid bitch secretary comes into office for third time. Asks stupid ass question; wastes my time; I pretend to be nice even though I wish she were dead. Wonder why secretary can't write a cover letter without having to ask me a question. Wonder why I can't have a 22 year old hot secretary instead of a 60 year old haggy fat bitch.
4:00 - asshole senior partner calls me with "emergency" assigment that must be completed by tomorrow morning. I know fucking ass partner will come into my office tomorrow morning so I actually feel like I have to work on it. Wonder why this partner always calls me after 4 and always needs an answer within 18 hours. Dream of shooting him.
8:00 - somewhat finish assignment. E-mail partner with answer and hope he won't ask follow up questions even though I know he will. Input my hours into the firm's billing system. Try to double bill as much as I can. Try to "estimate" my time, being fair to myself of course.
8:15 - leave office, take taxi home that firm pays for. Buy some Indian or Thai food. Get home, surf net for porn. Jack off two or three times. Take hot bath. Jack off. Go to sleep dreaming of fucking hot bitch.
Repeat next day.
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