On Wed, 26 Dec 2007, John S Costello wrote:
> It's just when faced with a large group of people -- or even an
> individual but relatively unknown person -- who have made radically
> different choices in how they organize their intimate relationships
> that I think "partner(s)" is appropriate.
I'm surprised no one's brought up the common solution of "significant other," which kind of solves the problem of impersonality by chuckling at it while still using it.
When I was 21 and much more politically correct than I am now, I worried a lot about coming up with a feministically correct substitute for girlfriend. I thought "lover" was theoretically perfect, perfectly equal and not antiseptic in the least. Practically, however it turned out to have problems. I soon found out that every stranger I used it in front of (by referring to doing something with my lover) came away thinking I was (a) absurd and (b) gay.
The lesson I came away with is you can't change the language by yourself. If everyone you know dislikes your suggestion you should probably choose one from the common pool until you can invent one your friends like. Most people have an easier time overlooking the shortcomings of common words (and not blaming you for them) than overlooking words that make them pause. An unusual word wakes people out of the bath of their everyday unconsciousness, makes them think twice, and makes them demand a reason for this disturbance. And then they blame you for every connotation in it that's imperfect.
Michael