andie nachgeborenen wrote:
> Also, my understanding is that about 95% (or some
> very high proportion) of heterosexual BDSM
> relationships involve the male as the
> masochist/bottom, and the woman as the sadist/top.
That seems a bit high from what I know. The proportion of men as bottoms is probably very high, but there are plenty of male tops plus lots of men who are "switches". Sometimes it just depends on what kind of sex you are having.
> To put it in another way, from what I gather about
> kinky sex, in the hetero BDSM world, it's normally the
> woman who inflicts pain on or subordinates the man,
> not vice versa, and there are far more men out there
> who really want to be dominated by a strong women than
> there are women who are willing and available to do
> that to them.
Especially on Capitol Hill in D.C. ;-)
> I have observed, also that even apart from the world
> of self-identified labels, that nonstandard sexual
> activities are actually pretty common among the so
> called vanilla population. People say, "I'm not into
> S&M but . . . ." Open any issue of Cosmo and read the
> sex tip of the month advertised on the cover. (Yes, I
> do read it in supermarket checkout lines when I'm nor
> reading the Weekly World News -- now you know my dark
> secrets -- one gets all sorts of good ideas that way.)
I think that the Internet really helped people open up about their sexuality. People are kinkier than they think, although this has been the case for many years. Didn't the Kinsey sex reports find that kinkiness was pretty widespread in the population? I also think that sexuality is a spectrum, so individuals may have tastes across the spectrum instead of just being stuck in the "vanilla" or "BDSM" slot.
Chuck