This helps me, but only a bit. My natural tendency tells me to look for additional substantiation for reasoning such as the above ("recipient craves it") which I find a bit behaviourist (for want of a better term). So, while it is believable that some/many/all S parts of SM relationships *think* that the M part is consenting (and wouldn't dream of *really* hurting someone), the situation may be more complex than that. And the use of the term "Sadism" doesn't help much. A mailing list (of this sort) is a good place to sort these things out, yes (for instance, the accepted definitions of "consent")? I would answer your questions about Mac OS and FreeBSD happily ... hell I have! ;-)
--ravi
P.S: changed subject line. Got tired of reading that typo.