> Film has nothing to do with sex.
My point was that wanting to see a movie is like wanting to have sex -- they are both desires.
A person is free to posit any precondition she wants, but do so is to engage in scripting.
> Would you agree that it makes sense to eat when you're hungry?
Yes, but do you have to be in love with the person you eat with? When you want to satisfy your sexual desire, why is it necessary to do so with some you are in love with?
> I mean fist whom you like when you like, but it's absurd to say that
> eating when hungry is a script.
The method you choose to satisfy your hunger is where the scripting comes in, just as the way you choose satisfy your sexual desires brings in scripting. Choosing to be spontaneous means you are choosing the script titled "Spontaneous Sex."
Dwayne:
> It's true my lover was quite wise sexually but I think I understood some
> other things more deeply than she did (as she often said -
one of the reasons she listed for the wildly intense attraction we felt
towards each other).
The only things I have studied deeply and experientially are sex and movies. For the rest I rely on the kindness of strangers to share the knowledge they have mined in their fields.
John T:
> I'll debate the idea that kinky sex is politically radicalizing, I doubt
> it but I'm open to research to show I'm wrong. It would hardly be the
> first time.
I think it can be, but maybe the type of person capabale of being radicalized is already on such a path.
Joanna:
> Freedom means that anything can happen--depending on mood and
> circumstance, as opposed to the requirement that something specific needs
> to happen no matter what the mood or ciurcumstance.
But when I am in a kinky mood anything can happen. I do not go into a session with a plan that these are the fetishes I am going to explore for the evening (or afternoon or morning).
> I also find it, well, weird, that on a lefty list one faces ridicule for
> asserting that love and/or sexual attraction are the motive forces
behind sexual congress.
I am not ridiculing it. I am only saying that love and/or sexual attraction need not be prerequisites for sexual congress (which to me is a leftist position).
Charles:
> So, what means "sexually sophisticated" ?
See Dwayne's explanation of Sexonauts. I think I am going to put the term on my calling card.
Queer Dewd:
> As my friend Barbara is always saying, the best thing for her to learn
> through this practice was how to respect her own and others boundaries and
> take that same insight into other areas of her life.
Which for me is the type of radical transformation I believe engaging in bdsm can bring about.
Brian