"i never id'd with a characters very much, but i do gotta say that, it's hard to imagine any other actor than gandolfino as tony. and yeah, the sexy bit. go fucking figger. but what that show is doing is making you find him attractive because women do -- not because he is attractive according to *you*. in other words, the show makes you desire tony by observing the desire of women in the show."
Bitchlab & others,
I think you hit on an important general social observation here. I'm reminded of the French actor Gerard Depardieu's mixed attempt at a film career in the USA; magazines in late 80s/early 90s proclaimed he was "considered sexy in France," etc. Anecdotally, women from my own family then suddenly found him attractive. But it also became a big joke; Dennis Miller on SNL went into a rant about how he couldn't believe women found Depardieu sexy -- "he's a beast!" he wailed, or something like that, when he did the news on SNL.
PN Myers in the Journal of Communication: "A study of 4,294 tv commercials showed that one out of every 3.8 commercials sens some sort of 'attractiveness.' telling viewers what is or not attractive." A lot of people really seem to take these social cues to heart.
Similarly, there was a study that showed folks often choose their musical preferences, or simply like songs, based on what others seem to like. Kind of depressing to read about, really. "A new study reveals that we make our music purchases based partly on our perceived preferences of others." http://www.livescience.com/health/060209_hit_songs.html
-B.