Righteously standing up in my pew, that's what I boldly shouted at Father Abercrombie Quiltingwasp during one his anti-evolution homilies. Although I'm usually as meek as a kitten on Valium and as happy as a Texan after an execution the troublesome Priest's mushy mouthed prattlings against natural selection and Holy Mother Science drove me to Dick Cheney levels of rudeness.
I would tell you more of that fateful day (the start of the second revolution against unreason, I humbly call it) but am pressed for time (as are you, dear reader, as are you) and so must press on.
...
Perhaps you're wondering what gave me the courage to stand - bold as unlove - against the barbarian hordes of religious belief, glass unicorn figurine collecting, "dream catcher" rear view mirror kitsch and all the rest of the tapioca headed inanity which pollutes our world like a sludge fashioned from rat droppings, Big Macs, copies of Time Magazine and other filth.
And perhaps, weary of receiving an email from your sister advising you to "find the B in the ascii art and your dreams will come true" you've decided to leap in revulsion from this world which flees from logic. But where dear reader? Into whose arms will you leap?
Into the waiting arms of the League of Extraordinary Scientism!
Membership in the League (expensive yes but a bargain at any price!) will give you the confidence you need to push back against the block-headed nincompoops, the modern primitives, the ant-sized minds who threaten to unmake our world of microwave dinners, laser guided missiles and Lego Mind Storms.
With your membership kit you'll receive:
* A silver jumpsuit with the League logo (a stylized image of Jesus, hands on his head, being taken away by men in white lab coats)
* A copy of "Because Science Says So Mofo!", a collection of scientismic responses to common questions.
* A toaster oven
What are you waiting for? Call now!
.d.