On sensitive guys, by Daniel (d-squared) Davies. It's in the archives but a google search didn't turn it up right away. Not to condone ravi's passive aggressive response to Doug and Dennis, natch, but I think dd got at precisely what kind of snags doug and dennis were talking about:
"Nine times out of ten, whenever I hear the words "I am really kind to women, super sensitive and not bad looking, why can't I get a date when all these assholes can", a quick glance at the person saying it reveals that the reason they cannot get a date is that they are a whining, passive aggressive shite who can't get a date because he's too wrapped up in himself. It's often worth reminding people that "sensitive" people are "sensitive" to the feelings of other people, and are almost always very popular as a result. Someone who is only "sensitive," in the sense of being mortally wounded by slights against themselves, is known as "a selfish little whiner".
So that's that half of the conundrum dealt with. And as is so often the case in matters logical, solving the easy half helps us with the difficult half. Oft-times, women like men who are freeloaders, uncouth, bad at housework, and yes, indeed, even sometimes violent, for the simple reason that they are often basically nice people. People who have a realistic opinion of their own worth, and who don't demand to be praised every fucking second of the day for being so "nice".
Emotionally needy people need to be really quite amazing in other ways to not be a total pain in the ass; otherwise, they suck the life out of you faster than German accounting principles.
happy to help etc.
Un-PC enough for ya?"