The monolithic heterosexism of this article is amazing--amd quite unbelievable.
>Celibacy used to be a lonely choice, but now abstinence groups are
>springing up across the UK. Most have a strait-laced image - but, as
>Naadia Kidy finds out, some women are enjoying a much more
>rock'n'roll approach to chastity
>
>It seems fair to say that I'm a one-date wonder. It's not that I'm
>socially inept - I have my share of charm, intelligence and looks.
>It's that I won't have sex and can't be persuaded - an easy way of
>sieving out potential boyfriends.
>
>I'm 24 now and over the years I've watched all my friends cross the
>bridge into a sex life, most seeming to emerge with a sense of
>regret. I've heard a whole array of horror stories, enough to put off
>even the most hardened nymphomaniac - let alone a God-fearing Afro-
>Muslim emigrée like me. Throughout my life then, I've always stayed
>on the celibate side of the grass, even if the other side does
>occasionally look greener, sweeter and more satisfying.
>
>There have been times when it's felt pretty lonely being a celibate
>woman in a sex-obsessed world, but recently that feeling has subsided
>slightly. Take even a quick glance around, and it has become
>difficult to avoid the growing visibility of celibacy groups.
>
>The Silver Ring Thing (SRT), for instance, an abstinence support
>network based on Christian teachings (and long popular in the US) has
>gained considerable ground in the past year. Those who sign up to the
>SRT434 programme (SRT's British regiment) wear a silver band to
>remind them of their abstinence pledge. The organisation attracted
>considerable attention earlier this year, when 16-year-old Lydia
>Playfoot took her school to court for banning her from wearing her
>ring. She lost the case, and her father, also a key member of the SRT
>movement, was left to foot the £20,000 legal bill.
>
>There were grumbles that the case had been a publicity stunt, but, if
>so, it seems to be working - the Silver Ring Thing and True Love
>Waits (a smaller Christian group which promotes the same cause) are
>both gaining popularity. Gareth Hutchinson, who runs the SRT434
>course in Swindon, says a group of young people "asked if we could
>start running the programme - they had heard about it themselves".
>Companies such as Waitwear clothing (which prints logos such as "No
>Vow, No Sex" on underwear) have cropped up, while UK website
>www.celibrate.org is said to regularly attract hundreds of hits. In
>the US, books such as Dawn Eden's The Thrill of the Chaste (about the
>thirtysomething author's decision to give up sex) and Wendy Shalit's
>Girls Gone Mild (which suggests abstinence as an antidote to
>objectification) are part of a large wave of chastity-lit, and the
>Christian pop star Natasha Bedingfield has released the song Single -
>which some have read as a paean to celibacy.
>
>All of which has helped raise the profile of abstinence considerably
>- but, let's face it, hasn't exactly made it cool. I like to think
>that I'm someone who is fairly cutting edge in most respects, but it
>seems that though celibacy and abstinence messages may be getting
>more popular, they are still a long way from being fashionable.
>
>Or so I thought, until an acquaintance of mine - a young, arty kid
>from Shoreditch in east London - told me about The Prim and Proper
>Pussy Club (The PPPC). Most of this 25-strong group of women, based
>in Hackney, could give Amy Winehouse competition in the debauchery
>stakes - and all are celibate. Unlike the SRT crew (Christian) and
>myself (Muslim), the club's members aren't religious - so I wondered
>why they had chosen chastity?
>
>Sucking on a cigarette, the head honcho of the five-year-old club,
>Miss Angeline, told me that "No two girls in the club are here for
>the same reason - some girls were sexually abused, some prefer
>intimacy over sex, some think that abstinence is the new laid. For
>me, abstinence is part of a personal quest. It is the realisation
>that freedom in its purest form comprises of not being addicted to
>anyone, especially the male body. I gave up having sex and, though
>the first few months were torture, I am now as free as I can be in a
>capitalist world."
>
>Miss Angeline claims she will not be marrying, and will adopt and
>raise children by herself. "Her girls", as she calls them, give a
>plethora of reasons for their pledges. Crystal, a 20-year-old
>designer, and self-confessed "recovering nymphomaniac", says, "I
>decided to stop fucking around when it became boring. Everyone was
>doing it. No one knew who was diseased, as everyone had slept with
>everyone else. It had completely lost its buzz. So I quit."
>
>Mimi, 19, the club's youngest member, is also in search of bigger and
>better highs. She sees celibacy as a revenge tactic. "Think of every
>man who has forgotten, cheated, and been 'too busy' to care - well,
>it's payback time. Now, no one can touch me. I lead them on, I play
>all the games, I don't call."
>
>The PPPC has no MySpace or Facebook pages: the only way to join the
>club is an invitation from another member. While the SRT followers
>flaunt their celibacy, The PPPC women, fully equipped with pseudonyms
>and anonymity, still seem to feel a clash of cultures. Based in the
>heart of the East End's rock colony, being celibate - the antithesis
>of rock'n'roll - must be difficult, but they won't admit it.
>
>Instead the women declare that the low profile is in order to keep
>the club young, fresh and interesting. If they let it turn
>mainstream, it will "lose its novelty". Miss Angeline also reassures
>me that the member introduction policy is "just a safety measure".
>
>I can't help but feel empowered by these flamboyant women. Their
>celibacy is as much a rebellion as promiscuity. And while other
>belief groups base their virtues on some kind of pre-ordained set of
>rules, The PPPC doesn't comply with any but its own.
>
>In many ways these women are living a life I would love, but,
>although I was invited, I chose not to join them. I don't think I'm
>quite cut out for all the drugs and alcohol: I'm trying to bring
>about a general moral change in myself, not just my sex life. I would
>love to see other groups like this start up, though - ones that make
>their own rules, provide a support network, and don't force us
>celibate folk to compromise our cool. For now, I will remain on my
>side of the grass - and keep relying on divine intervention when the
>going gets tough.
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