[lbo-talk] tightening the belt

[John Thornton]

Doug Henwood wrote:
> <http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-12-17/the-bag-lady-papers/1> 
>
>
> The Bag Lady Papers
> by Alexandra Penney
> December 17, 2008 | 7:42am
>
> Alexandra Penney—a NY artist and former editor of Self Magazine—lost 
> her life savings in the Madoff debacle. Now, she shares her wrenching 
> trauma in a Daily Beast exclusive.
>
> I began to think about my options: I'd have to sell the cottage in 
> West Palm Beach immediately. I'd need to lay off Yolanda. I could 
> cancel the newspaper subscriptions and read everything online. I only 
> needed a cellphone. I'd have to stop taking taxis. And who could 
> highlight my hair for almost no money? And how hard was it to give 
> yourself a really good pedicure?
>
> I Googled the Hemlock society. I wanted to know a painless way to die. 
> Would you believe the Hemlock society no longer exists?
>
> Every month I got detailed statements, and my money looked to be 
> growing around 9 to 11%.
>
> It is too painful to think I will lose my Florida cottage,
>
> I wear a classic clean white shirt every day of the week. I have about 
> 40 white shirts. They make me feel fresh and ready to face whatever 
> battles I may be fighting in the studio to get the best out of my work.
>
> How am I going to iron those shirts so I can still feel like a poor 
> civilized person? Even the no iron ones need touching up.
>
> Yolanda makes my life work. She comes in three mornings a week, 
> whirlwinds around and voila! The shirts are ironed, the sheets are 
> changed, the floors are vacuumed.
>
> I traveled a lot. In this last year, I've been Laos, Cambodia, India, 
> Russia, and Berlin for my first solo art show. Will I ever be able to 
> explore exotic places again?
>
> Yesterday, I took my first subway in 30 years. Dennis came with me to 
> show me how to get a MetroCard. The world looks very different from a 
> crowded Lexington Avenue number 6 train.

Are you sure this isn't from The Onion?

John Thornton