> Brian asks:
>
> > Does continuous protective sphincter clenching make you guys
> > permanently pissed off or what?
>
> the only gay man in the world
Isn't that a Simon & Garfunkel song?
But let me defend Brian here even though I am not sure that he wants or will like my defense.
In context I knew who (what set of people) Brian was referring to. The set of people he wanted to speak are heterosexual men who have never had a gay desire they can admit to, but who consider themselves to be open-minded enough to answer his question. Brian's assumption is that that set of people will have some insight into our more close-minded brothers, perhaps from locker room experience.
It is a reasonable assumption. Where I grew up "white" teenagers assumed I was as racist as they were and therefore did not hesitate to express racism in front of me until I yelled at them or punched them in the nose or something. It was reasonable to expect that this experience would give me some insight into white racism. Brian is making an analogous assumption and out of understandable anger phrases his questions a bit inelegantly.
Where as I think that Brian's assumption is reasonable --- that these heterosexual guys will have insight into why some (other) heterosexual guys hate homosexual men so much -- I also think that there is a deeper assumption behind such questions that is wrong. I think the frustration behind Brian's question assumes, i.e. that there is something deep and unaccountable and mysterious about bigoted hatred such as sexism, racism, homophobia, etc.
But I don't think that there is any secret in these kinds of hatreds. It is not a mystery or especially mystical. Those who don't want women (for example) to control their own lives are afraid it will take something from them -- power, authority, love, security, etc. They are afraid that they will lose their place in life. They look at the way other people act as threatening to their "secure" way of life. They look at it as an attack on the possibility of their own manhood. They feel it takes something "comfortable" away from them, their place in the world. They see it as a threat to their children.... etc. It may be irrational but I don't think it is a mystery. Whether it is sexism, racism or heterosexism, this hatred is on one level about supremacy and dominance. It is an evil; it is an irrational evil; but it is also an evil that is intelligible to thought.
But I think that there is something else that is going on with Brian's question. Homophobia, racism, sexism and other similar kinds of hatred feels implacable. There is a sense where all hatred and anger, of the "others" mind is something that is like a brick wall. It is impenetrable. It can't be reasoned with. There is a sense that the people who exhibit these implacable hatreds and actions that exhibit hatred are a mystery because they express themselves and don't "listen."
I hope I have not done too much harm to Brian's expression of anger.
Jerry Monaco
>
> *sigh*
>
> /jordan
>
> _