By Ken Saji
The unicorn starts out by laying out its plan to counter
the North Korean nuclear threat. It says, "Create a giant
rainbow over the entire country that lasts 100 years and
then flood the DMZ with thousands of puppies-er, kittens.
Because nothing's cuter than a kitten scratching and meowing
to get in somewhere. Then, after we break through, the Marines
go in and take over any nuclear facilities, turning them into
'Happy Centers,' filled with flowers, cupcakes, popcorn (low
sodium), toys, smiles, trust, and kinship."
[ ... it gets even better ... ]