Flurg (five kids, tired voice): I don't want to sound like I'm whining, but my kids are in so many activities and I have to do so much driving and what have you because of it, that I don't have time to even finish one chapter of a book.
Blerp (2 kids, somber voice): When you became a parent you had to learn to sacrifice. These are the things we do for our children. They always have to come first.
Flurg (face reddening): What?! Fuck you! I know all that you jackass! I was just saying that I miss reading, not that I want to turn my baby loose on a highway in a dirty diaper! Jeezus that pisses me off!
Me: (1 kid, not a fan of yelling): Listen, you're both right: Flurg is right to miss reading and - also right that there's judgmental speechifying assholery afoot. And Blerp is right that kids are special snowflakes who must be cared for with our tenderest of mercies and gallons of fuel. Now watch me eat this salad.
.d.
-- "Leave it to the French to [insert something racy here]."
Alex Pareene
...................... http://monroelab.net/blog/