> The DP is an abusive husband whose wife won't leave him because she is
> sure he really loves her at heart.
There's an old R Crumb cartoon where Whiteman -- I believe -- is addressing a hamburger in a diner. "Little hamburger," he says, "I am lookin' at you with nothin' but love. For verily I say unto you, little burger: You die that I may live."
Quoted from memory so probably not word-perfect.