[lbo-talk] More Vlad's Daily Gloat

Chris Doss lookoverhere1 at yahoo.com
Wed Mar 12 08:09:04 PDT 2008


Man this guy is prolific. It really is a gloat a day. He also answers hate mail below.

Naked And Desperate U.S. Soldiers

March 7, 2008

VLAD'S DAILY GLOAT

American soldiers are so pathetic and poorly equipped that they must buy their own clothes and equipment, according to Christian Science Monitor article titled "U.S. Troops Buy Own Gear For Safety In Battle":

"The Army is planning a $20 billion future combat system, and they can't provide boots that don't wear out," says Roger Charles, editor of DefenseWatch, an investigative website that advocates on behalf of frontline soldiers. "There's no priority for taking care of relatively mundane items where most people would think, 'Gosh, that's so simple. Why don't they have the best boots, the best uniforms, the best helmets, and the best flak jackets?' "

Poor bastards not only suffering from easily destroyed Humvees because American has no money to pay for protective plates, but they cannot even get decent boots! It reminds me of stories of Russian soldiers in the 19th century.

It is so bad that American soldiers must rely on charity, like poor African babies, just to get proper helmets:

In some cases, charity groups have stepped in to help. Operation Helmet, founded by Bob Meaders of Montgomery, Texas, shipped special helmet liners to soldiers to replace what many soldiers said were poorly designed helmet pads issued by the Army and the Marines. Just as Operation Helmet thought its work was done late last year, more requests came in from troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

America is too corrupt and stupid to care about the soldiers it sends off to wars which only serve to line the pockets of their oligarchs. No wonder America is losing its wars. And no wonder they are suffering from so much depression, as reported in Associated Press:

A report the Army released Thursday recommends sending civilian psychiatrists to the warfront, supplementing members of the uniformed mental health corps.

Surveying a force strained by its seventh year of war, officials found that more than one in four soldiers on repeat tours of duty screened positive for anxiety, depression and other mental health problems. That was comparable to the previous year.

Poor American soldiers, I have to feel sorry for them. They serve a corrupt and bloodthirsty regime in wars that they do not understand and are treated like peasant recruits of two centuries ago. No wonder America's days as a "superpower" are numbered.

--Vlad Kalashnikov

Americans Are Cavemen

March 9, 2008

VLAD'S DAILY GLOAT

Americans flooded the movie theaters this weekend to watch a movie about themselves called "10,000 B.C." According to all sane movie critics, this film is probably the stupidest movie in about 10,000 years, which explains why Americans already paid $35.7 million to see it, and will keep paying more. I have to read a Canadian review of this movie, because an American really doesn't even have a right to criticize the garbage his own culture creates. Here is from the Globe & Mail newspaper of Toronto.

Emmerich and co-writer Harold Kloser are clearly open to capricious historical invention, so it was a bit disappointing not to see a passing Mayan checking his sundial watch, or Noah sailing by waving hello from his arc's upper deck. (If you thought 300 was silly, think of 10,000 BC as 33.333 times sillier.)

Like me, he simply cannot believe that something so incredibly idiotic would appear on a movie screen. But that is because he is Canadian, and not a dumbshit from the country to the south. It proves again that you cannot give Americans enough Hollywood garbage to satisfy their primitive brains. Apparently, what Lenin said about politics is true about American so-called culture: "The worse, the better." You can never go low enough for the average fat American dumbfuck!

Here we find out one reason why poor Americans are such dumbshits: because their drinking water is full of all the drugs Americans take because they are all so miserable, fat, pathetic, and unhappy.

A vast array of pharmaceuticals — including antibiotics, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers and sex hormones — have been found in the drinking water supplies of at least 41 million Americans, an Associated Press investigation shows.

Americans shit and piss out all the drugs they consume to take them away from wretched American reality, then drink their drug-filled treated water, poorly treated because their government is too broke from wars and from payouts to oil oligarchs. Poor bastards. It is time America began to behave like a civilized country: to stop invading other nations, and to stop making incredibly shitty movies. But this is like asking a pigeon to behave like a tiger.

--Vlad Kalashnikov

American Crybabies Write To Vlad

March 8, 2008

VLAD'S DAILY GLOAT

The truth hurts, doesn't it? Already the editor is passing me several angry letters from pathetic American readers who cannot handle the truth about Russia's power and America's decline.

Here is one letter:

Ok, I want to start by saying I can enjoy listening to an arrogant, ignorant, and naive Russian spout anti-American insults as well as anyone. As a matter of fact I kind of like it. I enjoy getting Nashi members wound up and watching them go. I like listening to racist Babushkas at the bus stop talk about all the bad foreigners are ruining the nation. The problem is this Vlad guy just isn't very good at it. He lacks the nuance that makes you think, maybe something here is true. You can get his particular brand of anti-American babble from any taxi driver from Ygo Zapitda.

Of course Russia always ends up on top, and the US routes around in their own filth, time and time again, so why should any of this be a surprise. Russia is strong and America is weak, Russians are smart and Americans are stupid. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, and Americans are fat. Hell yeah, we're all fat, fat from spending so much damn time at the top of the food chain. Get over it. Russians are thin, because they spent most of the 20th century starving to death.

Have you seen the children of rich Russians? Guess what? They're fat. Fat Americans? Come on, it's been done over and over.

Anyway I don't want to get carried away too much because my over all point is Vlad's boat just don't float. Worse of all it's not funny, but it's written like it should be funny. I can try to look at it as a sort of G.G. Allen performance art, like a monkey throwing shit at the people in the zoo, but it's just not of the caliber. Speaking of caliber I'm guessing Kalashnikov is a pen name, it it weren't it would be the only cool thing about this guy. If it is a pen name it leads me to wonder if this is just someone smart pretending to be dumb.. hmm, does this angle make it interesting? uh.. no.

If there is a Vald.. Tell him this: In North America, we've got toilets that when you shit in them the shit goes into the water instead of sticking to the side, the shit then sits in the water and therefore doesn't give off as much shit smell as shit when you just leave it sitting around in the air at room temperature. After flushing the shit is transported out of the bowl leaving no trace behind. Russia's knock off of the flush toilet never really have taken this feature into account. Until the Russians figure this out, I'm not worried about being out-classed by them.

Other then that I enjoy most of the blogs quite a bit and I check back regularly.

thanks -Marc.

VLAD REPLIES: How appropriate that you, as American, are obsessed with toilets. Allow me to respond: 1. Russians get much more physical pleasure from sex, and don't need to obsess about shitting, but I suppose this is because our women aren't fat ugly beasts. If I was American I too will prefer shitting to sex. 2. Toilets are a pathetic claim to fame by a country that no longer produces the best cars, electronics equipment, or any other serious product, you have to either have Chinese make them, or have Japanese set up slave factories in America to produce half-way decent cars. 3. It is however appropriate for an American to take refuge in the toilet because that is where your pitiful country is going.

--Vlad Kalashnikov

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