[lbo-talk] Gay marriage

Dwayne Monroe dwayne.monroe at gmail.com
Thu Nov 13 13:50:39 PST 2008


Dennis Claxton:

Indeed they do.

In fact, the other day a racist scoundrel accosted me whilst I was enjoying my evening constitution. With deliberate violence he knocked the top hat from my head. As if that were not sufficiently evil, with a sinister gleam in his eye reminiscent of the dark light which surely shone from the countenances of the barbarians who sacked Rome, he roughly grabbed my monocle, smashing it beneath his heel.

"Good heavens sir" I said, "what is the meaning of this outrage?!"

Grabbing me by the lapels he replied "you sir, are a black and as such, my bitterest enemy!" "But how can this be?" I asked. "We have not met; I've done you no harm. Release me, and we'll say no more about this unfortunate incident."

"I cannot" he hissed. "On the one hand, I harbor enmity in my heart due to your very essence as a black fellow. Foul blood flows through your veins, compelling you to terrible deeds. I cannot suffer you to live! Academics call this racism or perhaps, racialism."

After saying this he paused in a most curious way, as if receiving a message from some spectral quarter.

"But then again, I also hold moral objections inasmuch as you, as a black fellow, are predisposed to murder and other forms of villainy. I oppose murder and suchlike so naturally I will oppose you, the doer of such deeds; if not now, then surely at some future moment."

It was then that I saw a way out of my dilemma.

"I'd say your division is false sir. And not merely false, but each side of your argument is at war with its fellow. On the one hand, you decry my very existence as a spot upon nature because, you insist, I cannot help but do evil owing to my terrible racial heritage. But then you reverse the order of things, declaring the evil you say I'm bound to do as the cause of your vigorous objections. This is most confusing. If I am to have my brains bashed out, I'd at least hope for some consistency."

"Why...yes...I..." he said, becoming strangely silent. Quite suddenly, his head began to smoke, as if his skull contained a Turkish shop. Next, his entire body shook most violently. Suddenly, he fell apart. It was then that I saw he was not a man at all but some sort of clockwork automaton.

.d.



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