[lbo-talk] A Report on the Conditions of Sol 3 From Birth Canal Traveller 6.x Billion

Dwayne Monroe dwayne.monroe at gmail.com
Mon Aug 31 17:54:23 PDT 2009


Day 1:

Entrance into atmospheric medium relatively uneventful.

Mother (previously designated as "host') experienced discomfort during the process but this was somewhat assuaged by the use of neuro-response suppressants (verify chemical composition later) and emotional pair bonding with the father (previously designated "fertilizer").

I announced my arrival with the traditional battle shout: 'Tremble all ye creatures! A scientist has arrived!' To the untrained ears of nearby adults, this apparently sounded something like "wahhhhhhhhggggghh!!!"

First impressions:

Planet has reached late stage of hydrocarbon-based industrial development with several post-hydrocarbon indications visible. Time will tell if the next stage is reached. Hydrogen? Fusion? Reportedly, it will be up to me and my fellows to determine this.

I'm still adjusting to life outside of the amniotic containment vessel/SenseNet. In particular, I'm operating at a severely reduced level of efficiency due to losing the vessel's rich sensor array. My in-atmosphere capabilities are still at a very early stage. Frustrating. Wahhhhhhhhggggghh!!!

Day 2:

Exhausted from sensory overload. Shutting down. wahhhhhhhhggggghh!!!

Day 3.

Still experiencing some disorientation. Parents hovering about. I've quickly adjusted and grown attached to them but require a remarkable amount of unconsciousness to recover from sensory explorations. Standby...standby...clothing soiled. Clearly, in-atmosphere waste elimination is inefficient and unpleasant. Wahhhhhhhhggggghh!!!

Day 4.

See Day 3

Report log interruption...

Day 120

Sensory apparatus reaching stabilization. Discovered an interesting red spheroid. It seemed to appear from the 4th dimension but apparently was placed on the floor by Mother. I thought it might be composed of trans matter due to its incredible elasticity. Further investigation (aka, "playing") revealed the object to be made from some sort of solidified hydrocarbon. The adults are delighted to observe my experiments. I'm pleased to learn that my parents are such enthusiastic supporters of scientific endeavors.

Day 130

Met other members of the research team. Zach: age 13 months, Heather: age 3 months...several others. The names escape me. We are comparing notes on microbial life via touch. Zach, a much more distinguished scientist than yours truly, is particularly fascinated by the influenza virus. He has infected his parents several times to carefully observe the mechano-organism's effects. I admire his unsentimental dedication to advancing knowledge.

Day 210

A new arrival...a creature known as "cat" entered the home. I was wary at first but soon discovered we share a quest for information. Cat informs me her (much more narrowly focused but still intriguing) research program is concerned with determining how many ways she might obtain canned meals and avoid work. Though we are of differing species, our love of leisure and exploration unites us. The word "cute" is used often to describe our conferences (which the adults mistake for play). An excellent collaboration.

I look forward to further data gathering opportunities.

.d.



More information about the lbo-talk mailing list