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RECESSIONOMICS Goldman Sachs Bankers Forced Into Fleabag Hotel By Hamilton Nolan, 11:44 AM on Thu Mar 12 2009, 2,794 views
When Ghostface said "The glorious days are gone, and everybody's doing bad," he was referring to the day (today) when Goldman Sachs bankers would be forced to stay in the fucking Embassy Suites. It's bullshit.
Historically Goldman guys in New York, along with their big swinging dicks, have been encouraged to stay in the Plaza or the Ritz-Carlton or some other hotel outfitted with the bare requirements for human occupancy, such as 400 thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets and $795 per night price tags. Now? Now? They all have to stay in the Embassy fucking Suites. What the fuck are they, hookers? Let's do a little actual comparison between the old and the new, shall we?
Ritz-Carlton Battery Park: View of the Statue of Liberty. Embassy Suites New York: View of motherfucking Jersey.
Ritz: Marble baths. ES: Regular fucking baths.
Ritz: 2 West Restaurant, a modern American bistro; Rise, an award- winning bar and terrace. ES: Applebee's; Chevy's; Lili's Noodle Shop.
Ritz: Massages and facials from the distinctive Payot and Prada skin care lines are enhanced by personal service from a staff of professional therapists. ES: On-site notary public.
Ritz: State-of-the-art fitness center. ES: New York fucking Sports Club, open to poors.
Ritz: Wake up call delivered by pricey escort. ES: "Wake-up call service that blares 'cock-a-doodle-do' into the telephone."
"ES" stands for "especially shitty." We didn't go into finance to live like we're in the fucking Peace Corps. Fuck this. [WSJ]