Just today one of them wrote an blog post, as if responding to you. [I cut out the charmingly self-deprecating beginning...]
'We're bitter because you have abused and marginalized us for a
few decades now. Your absolute lack of empathy in accepting user
experience and aesthetics as an integral part of the software
development process has effectively murdered our designer souls
over and over. We've felt and continue to feel abused by your
silly and compulsive need to meet artificial deadlines which you
achieve by saying, "Yeah, we don't have time to spend on design."
You know what sucks about this? Every time you do that, and
believe us, you do it a LOT, we have to go along with it fully
knowing that we're going to piss off customers. You've heard of
customers, right? They are also known as "human beings for whom
you're building the very piece of software".'
http://www.visitmix.com/Opinions/How-to-beat-the-Designer-Stereotype
That said, I recently met a good graphic designer who's also good at programming. He likes talking about the Semantic Web, how pointless the recent Adobe releases are, Lisp, etc.
But I do empathize with people who want all-Flash sites, as web browsers are terrible for attractive design. (Well, Internet Explorer is.) I mean, rounded corners which work on all browsers are nontrivial, as far as I understand! (It's not a simple matter of getting a Javascript or CSS thingie off the web: they don't always work on IE when putting arbitrary content in them.)
All the best, Tayssir