I believe we are talking about mutations. A mutation of a gene occurs in an individual. If that individual does not reproduce -- which is in fact the majority case, since most mutations are regressive and decrease the reproductive success of the carrier -- that mutation is lost. Now, its possible that the same mutation simultaneously occurs in multiple individuals -- perhaps because their parents were exposed to the same environmental effects -- but that has no relationship to kin, etc. So, you are right that you share your genes with your kin and they survive even if you don't reproduce. But mutations that are specific to you do not survive unless you reproduce.
--ravi