> a good job for the women in my life meant these men obtained lower-middle
> strata jobs (solid factory work (in an anti-union town), ass mgr at a fast
> food restaurant, auto mechanics, etc.).
>
> In her study of the "second shift" of housework women do, Arlie Hochschild
> showed how both men and women assessed their position in the war over
> housework. Women knew that, while they might bring a great job and salary to
> the table, that their chances in the marriage market were dim -- or they
> thought they knew that. So, they put up with more stuff than they otherwise
> might. And they knew it. Men, similarly, believed that they had more power
> in the respect. This study was done in the 80s and I think things have
> changed a bit, but it does show that people make these kinds of assessments
> in their lives.
Was there any discussion in any of this literature of why get married, anyway?
What I meant was that I don't see people planning (usually) on having to depend on alimony or child support, as opposed to what you describe here. People tend to fantasize about success, however defined, to get through the day, not on how they wouldn't be able to depend on alimony. But I'm just guessing.
I've been surprised, too, at how older men, even degreed ones, often think of grad school as a frippery, "finding yourself", etc. even in reference to fairly technical/professional kinds of things (clinical psych, oceanography <cough>).
-- Andy