This is a pretty serious matter. It is apparent that playing this game is linked to serious mental deficiency.
I happened onto a story on a popular current affairs TV programme the other day about a golf driving range which illustrates this. Didn't catch it all, but the gist of it seems to be that some neighbours of a driving range were complaining that they were afraid to leave the house during daylight hours, because little hard golf balls were constantly raining onto their property. By the thousands apparently.
Take cover - INCOMING!
I deduced that a golf driving range is a place where people, for reason(s) I can't quite fathom, go to to hit golf balls as hard and far as they can. Over and over again? And people say cricket is boring...
Be that as it may, the reporter interviewed some of the numb-nuts who engage in this activity. They were quite sympathetic to the problems of the people on the receiving end of their missiles. But they seemed genuinely perplexed about what could be done about the problem. "If someone can come up with a solution, we'd be glad to get on board", one told the reporter. He positively oozed sincerity, I was left in no doubt that the solution, the obvious solution, was not at all obvious to him.
Nor to any of his fellow golfers we must assume.
So problem solving is definitely not a skill associated with people who hit golf balls. Not if the people interviewed for this story are a representative sample of the sport. But I would have assumed that this is precisely the kind of skill we would hope to find in "the leader of the free world"?
Has anyone done any research into this? Can people be cured of the side-effects of playing golf? Do the effects wear off if they kick the habit? Is anyone working on a random breath test to detect golfer/drivers? (There's a scary thought.)
Or don't you yanks have this problem? I just remembered, it is your custom to shoot trespassers, so is hitting a golf ball onto someone's private property maybe considered trespassing? So would you just shoot golfers on sight? That would be the most humane thing I suppose, but it might be a bit tricky getting within range of Obama, what with all the bodyguards and all.
On top of the risk of being smacked in the head with a golf ball, it wouldn't be worth the risk, so what can be done? If someone can come up with a solution, I'll be glad to get on board.
Bill Bartlett Bracknell Tas