[lbo-talk] TX gov. blasts coyote with laser-guided .380 Ruger

Dwayne Monroe dwayne.monroe at gmail.com
Wed Apr 28 11:58:27 PDT 2010


Well we've all had a good laugh at Gov. Perry's expense but I think it's time to look at the inconvenient facts.

1.) As every school child know, snakes are among Earth's sneakiest bastards. There's nothing a snake enjoys more than slithering behind you when your back is turned, tapping you on the shoulder and then, while you're distracted, sliding away with your wallet and fancy smart phone. (Identity theft is mostly a snake-related crime now.)

2.) Today's super powered snakes, with their exo-skeletons and radar guided fang arrays can't be killed with sticks, stones or driven away with hurtful words. Firepower is required! The more, the better. I'm surprised the Gov didn't use predator drones to reconnoitre the area beforehand, followed by a missile barrage to liberate the terrain from its reptilian underlords.

3.) Snakes, like all other non-human life on this planet, are our implacable foes. This is especially true of sharks - nature's La Cosa Notra. Groundhogs are generally untrustworthy and ants make everyone feel lazy. Fuck them and their hard work! The gods gifted us with powerful weapons for a reason: to kill! Also, to prepare us for the coming war with the Tauron Empire in 2360 (look it up!).

In closing, I think this is really a framing issue. On the one hand, liberals and lefties frame it as a gun control and American culture of violence issue. On the other hand, the snakes frame it as a 'I'm going to steal your wallet and bite your ass' issue.

I choose life! And that means bullets.

.d.



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