But what I see is a meandering run-on sentence.
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And beyond that, writers who traffic in crude stereotypes should at least make it a point to get them right. Rednecks don't dodge the draft; in fact, they don't have to be drafted, because while everyone else was sitting at home worrying about the draft, they were down at the recruitment station enlisting. There's no stereotype more offensive than one somebody like Ames gets completely wrong. (The equivalent would be making fun of the Irish for not being able to hold their liquor, or the Jews for giving away money.)
-- "Hige sceal þe heardra, heorte þe cenre, mod sceal þe mare, þe ure mægen lytlað."