What characterized their generation was 1) they had survived the depression, WWII, and Stalinism 2) the women of that generation did not have the option of having careers without being mostly de-sexed. A woman who did not want children was considered a bit of a monster.
The result of 1) is that there wasn't anything that could happen to me that my parents could think of as a tragedy or as dangerous (relative to everything they had lived through). They basically considered me "lucky" and had zero sympathy for anything I went through.
The result of 2) is that my mother who should have never had children because she really didn't want any (she wanted to be a writer), was ambivalent at best about her mothering and spent most of her life in a bottle (of booze).
I liked my dad, profoundly disliked and feared my mom, and didn't really have anything to say to them after I left home at 19. I also got no support whatsoever from them; put myself through school, etc.
What would have made a big diff with my parents is if they would have been interested in talking about the reality of everything they lived through, but they never did. Their generation drank a lot more than they talked.
The situation with my kids is exactly the opposite.
With respect to 1) I grew up in "good times" -- sixties, seventies -- when a bohemian existence was still possible AND you could always opt back in to the mainstream when necessary AND a good education was almost free. I hope I'm wrong, but I think my kids are facing a much harsher world, amidst a much more discouraged and ignorant population. So, I don't feel like my impulse to protect them and back them up is neurotic, but realistic. And I don't think that their worries/suffering pale in comparison to mine.
2) Since I had a crappy mother, it was important for me to be a good one, and because I wound up doing work I did not much enjoy, they really were the light of my existence. So, their sense was mostly that I was glad they were born. Also, I consciously chose to have kids not because I was expected to (on the contrary) but because I really wanted them. I think they sensed that and that it made a diff. in our relationship.
My son is 26; my daughter is 16. They are bright, personable, good-hearted people, & I wish them the best. What is different and worst (I think) from my parents' generation is that they grew up without a dad. Their father didn't really know how to be one. I don't know whether this is generational or just plain bad luck on my part. A lot of kids grew up with single mothers in this generation, and scant or nonexistent extended families, and I suspect that wasn't a very good thing. Fathers are important, and it's not something that mothers are good at being.
Joanna