He is now a poet absent words, a father without a son a 54-year-old man, Javier Sicilia says, who inhabits a "broken life."
The award-winning writer has also become an anguished emblem for Mexicans horrified by the continuing drug-related carnage sweeping their nation.
In March, Sicilia's 24-year-old son, Juan Francisco, was seized by gunmen in the city of Cuernavaca, then strangled and his body dumped along with six others. Police say orders came from a notorious cartel henchman, though they have said Sicilia's son, a business student, had no ties to crime.
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Sicilia has been questioned for having aimed his criticism mainly at the Calderon government even though drug hit men are suspected of killing his son and so many others. The writer counters that it is Mexican authorities, not criminal cartels, who are responsible for keeping the public safe. Asking ordinary Mexicans to plead with the drug gangs, he said, is tantamount to admitting a vacuum of official authority.
Dressed in a felt Stetson hat and miner's boots, Sicilia led a 60-mile march from Cuernavaca to Mexico City's main plaza for a demonstration that drew tens of thousands of people this month. Participants waved placards that urged an end to the violence, declaring, "We've had it up to here!"
The protest followed several smaller gatherings and marked the largest grass-roots repudiation of the Calderon administration's military-led drug war. In remarks that day, Sicilia called for the resignation of the country's public safety secretary, Genaro Garcia Luna, and assailed political parties across the board.
The pressure has forced Calderon to step up efforts to sell his anti-crime strategy to a public that appears increasingly wary as the toll continues to rise. Calderon, a conservative, says his government is making headway and should keep up the campaign.
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