Middle Age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.
> Then: Killer Weed
> Now: Weed Killer
>
> Then: The Grateful Dead
> Now: Dr. Kevorkian
>
> Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint
> Now: Getting a new hip joint
>
> Then: Moving to California because it's cool
> Now: Moving to California because it's warm
>
> Then: Being called into the principal's office
> Now: Storming into the principal's office
>
> Then: Peace Sign
> Now: Mercedes Logo
>
> Then: OJ, cutting & slashing
> Now: OJ, cutting & slashing
>
> Then: Getting your head stoned
> Now: Getting your headstone
>
> Then: "The Making of the President"
> Now: The making of the President
>
> Then: Long hair
> Now: Longing for hair
>
> Then: Acid rock
> Now: Acid reflux
>
> Then: Worrying about no one coming to your party
> Now: Worrying about no one coming to your funeral
>
> Then: Fighting to get rid of the lying President
> Now: Fighting to keep the lying President
>
> Then: The perfect high
> Now: The perfect high-yield mutual fund
>
> Then: Elvis in the army
> Now: Elvis in a UFO
>
> Then: Keg
> Now: EKG
>
> Then: Swallowing acid
> Now: Swallowing antacid
>
> Then: pothead
> Now: potbelly
>
> Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents
> Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids
>
> Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor
> Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor
>
> Then: Passing the driving test
> Now: Passing the vision test
>
> Then: Seeds and stems
> Now: Roughage
>
> Then: Popping pills, smoking joints
> Now: Popping joints
>
> Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel
> Now: Our president's struggle with fidelity.