I agree that leftist circles may be overpopulated by men who are bossy bottoms, which is another reason to object to 'auto-critique.'
BTW, I don't think that S/M is 'emancipatory' or 'transgressive' at all. It does, however, serve to neatly theatricalize the invalid and yet persistent problematics of non-Marxist Western philosophy that revolve around the Individual/Civil Society (e.g. Subject/Object, Self/Other, and Freedom/Determination).
Coming back to philosophy per se (as opposed to S/M as a theatricalization of invalid problematics), I don't think that Sade and Sacher-Masoch can be put into a symmetrical opposition. They open different lines of inquiry: the former involves the questioning of moralism while the latter may lead to the investigation of social reproduction in terms of a dialectic of submission and authority. See Kaja Silverman's _Male Subjectivity at the Margins _, for instance, about the latter.
Yoshie