[Fwd: Re: [Fwd: Re: [Fwd: Re: [Fwd: Re: [Fwd: Re: Mistress Judith (was Re: Butler on S]

Katha Pollitt kpollitt at thenation.com
Tue Nov 23 12:55:48 PST 1999


Carl Remick wrote:
>
> >But can you imagine circumstances under which 25 year
> >old men would want to marry fifty year old women?
>
> Sure, at least I can imagine them having a "meaningful relationship."
>
> And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson,
> Jesus loves you more than you will know --
> woa woa woa!
>
> Carl
>

yes, but in the movie, Mrs robinson is presented as dangerous and (I think I remember this) ultimately destructive. Dustin Hoffman marries MISS Robinson.

Carl, I can't believe you and Brett are disputing my point, which is obvious to just about everyone else in the country, if not world: men generally prefer women younger than themselves, and the older they get the younger they prefer them! Of course there are exceptions-- and the Mrs. robinson scenario, in which a married woman intiaties a young naif into adult sexuality, is one of them. What bothers me is not May-December per se, but that May is almost always a woman, and December a man. Men are the beneficiaries of this system -- the older they get, the more sexual possibilities they have. With women, the older they get, the FEWER sexual possibilities they have.

How is this set up embedded in the sex and gender system, asks Brett. Well, age is knowledge, and men are supposed to know more than women. Age is also money and power and resources and men are supposed to have more of those than women. Youth usually is expected to defer to age, and women are expected to defer to men. Then take looks: female attractiveness is bound up with signs of youth , male attractiveness with signs of youth OR signs of social power-- gray hair, a lined face and a heavy torso is okay for him, but not for her.

Maybe these things will change someday, and extraordinary people can sometimes make their own exceptions. But that's the way things are now. and the reason it matters is that lots of older women end up alone who would like not to be.

Katha



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