Michael Pugliese
01. Big companies don't do business via chain letters. Bill
Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving
you a free vacation. There is no baby food company issuing
class-action checks. Proctor and Gamble is not part of a
satanic cult or scheme, and its logo is not satanic. MTV
will not give you backstage passes if you forward something
to the most people. The Gap is not giving away free
clothes. You can relax; there is no need to pass it on
"just in case it's true."
02. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is
waking up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a
friend swears it happened to their cousin. If you are
hell-bent on believing the kidney-theft ring stories, see:
<http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm>
And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly
issued requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come
forward and tell their stories." None have.
That's "none" as in "zero." Not even your friend's cousin.
03. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe.
And even if they do, we all have it. And even if you don't,
you can get a copy at:
<http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html>
Then, if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that
awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on.
04. If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain
plutonium that went to particulate over the eastern
seaboard, do you REALLY think this information would reach
the public via an AOL chain letter?
05. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should
never, ever, ever forward any email containing any virus
warning unless you first confirm that an actual site of an
actual company that actually deals with viruses.Try:
And even then, don't forward it. We don't care.
And you cannot get a virus from a flashing IM or email, you
have to download it....ya know, like, a FILE!
06. There is no gang initiation plot to murder any motorist
who flashes headlights at another car driving at night
without lights.
07. If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email,
turn off the "HTML encoding." Those of us on Unix shells
can't read it, and don't care enough to save the attachment
and then view it with a web browser since you're probably
forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe
anyway.
08. If you still absolutely MUST forward that
10th-generation message from a friend, at least have the
decency to trim
the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's
received it over the last 6 months. It sure wouldn't hurt
to get rid of all the ">>>" that begin each line either.
Besides, if it has gone around that many times we've
probably already seen it.
09. Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc) in England
is not dying of cancer or anything else at this time and
would like everyone to stop sending him their business
cards. He apparently is no longer a "little boy" either.
10. The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization
doing fine work, but they have had to establish a special
toll free hot line in response to the large number of
Internet hoaxes using their good name and reputation. It is
distracting them from the important work they do.
11. If you are one of those insufferable idiots who
forwards anything that "promises" something bad will happen
if you "don't,"-- then something bad will happen to you if I ever
meet you in a dark alley.
12. Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, but
forwarding an e-mail won't help their cause in the least.
If you want to help, contact your local legislative
representative, or get in touch with Amnesty International
or the Red Cross.
13. As a general rule, e-mail "signatures" are easily faked
and mean nothing to anyone with any power to do anything
about whatever the competition is complaining about.
14. KFC really does use real Chickens with feathers and
beaks and feet. No, they really do. Why did they change
their name? In this health conscious world, what was KFC's
name? Kentucky FRIED Chicken. FRIED is not healthy. So with
the help of a focus group, they changed the name to KFC.
It's short, doesn't offend dieters and it's easy to remember.
15. Another thing, just because someone said in a message,
four generations back, that "we checked it out and it's
legit," does not actually make it true.
PS: There is no bill pending before Congress
that will allow long distance companies to charge you for
using the Internet.
Bottom Line... composing e-mail or posting something on the
Net is as easy as writing on the walls of a public
restroom.
Don't automatically believe it until it's proven false...
ASSUME it's false, unless there is proof that it's true.
Now forward this to everyone you know or the program I just put on your hard drive while you read this E-mail will open up your CD-ROM and reach out and slap you upside the head!