Special report: the ethics of genetics
John O'Farrell Saturday August 11, 2001 The Guardian
The Bible says that God made man in his own image but really this is just not specific enough. Does God look like Leonardo di Caprio or like David Mellor? If God made Jeffrey Archer in His own image then frankly you'd have to question His judgment. There are certain personalities that make you want to rush through a bill preventing there being any more of them.
One Frederick Forsyth is already more than enough.
And yet it seems likely that at some point next year the first ever human clone will be born. All the visitors will gather around the hospital bed and say "Aaaah - he looks just like his dad."
"Yes, that's because he is his dad."
And the poor woman who has just given birth to a baby version of her husband will say "What about the eyes? They're a bit like mine, aren't they?"
"Er, not really. I'd say he had his dad's eyes, ears, nose - well everything, really."
It was earlier this year that an Italian couple announced they planned to have a baby that was a clone of the "father", and this week the maverick doctor Severino Antinori confirmed the first human clone was only months away. It has always been part of the human experience to gradually realise that you are turning into your parents, but this poor child will never stand a chance. Every time he slurps his drink his mother will say "Well you get that from your father. And mixing your peas up with your mash, you get that from him as well. And picking your nose and hunching your shoulders and of course you'll never buy your wife flowers or take her on a luxury cruise like she always wanted." And Dad'll say "Leave him alone, he's a good lad. He just never got the breaks in life."
"Well he's only five."
Then when the child becomes a teenager the problems will really start. The boy will look at his dad, and filled with anger and disgust will shout "I'm never going to be like you", and the parents will glance at each other and say "Do you want to tell him or shall I?" Then he'll learn that, one day, he too will wear cardigans and want to look inside churches on holiday. And the poor boy will explode and shout "I hate you!"
"No darling, you can't hate me because I love you, and since I am you, you must love you too so in fact you love me, don't I?"
That should keep him quiet for a while.
The imminence of a human clone this week prompted the French health minister to say that we cannot permit "the photocopying of human beings". It is indeed a terrifying thought.
Just imagine it - you'd be queuing up at the cloning machine, all ready to make 100 copies, and the woman behind you would say "Do you mind if I just pop in front of you, I'm only doing one clone."
So you let her in, and isn't it always the way - the machine jams.
"Oh dear, what's happened? The fault code is flashing J8 - does anybody know what J8 means?'
"Is that stem cells jammed in copier?"
"Er - copier out of DNA?"
"It can't be - I put in a new amino proteins cartridge this morning."
"Oh no - I've got hundreds of clones to do before lunch. Now I'm going to have to pop down to Pronto-clone to do them."
The advances in stem cell technology have until now been rightly justified on the grounds that they are helping prevent diseases. Similarly, everything should be done to help childless couples have babies. But to create a human being who was already someone else is an abuse of the human rights of that new-born individual. It is one thing to clone a sheep, because the life choices facing sheep are pretty limited. Most lambs come out of their careers interview at school and say to their anxious parents: "Brilliant news! He thinks he might be able to get me into the wool business!" And mum and dad jump with delight that all the hopes they had for their clever offspring will be realised; she's going to stand around in a wet field for a few years and then be served up as mutton passanda with pilau rice.
But how is any person supposed to live a normal life with the knowledge that they are a duplicate of someone, possibly a "parent"; how are they supposed to become an individual in their own right? It must be hard enough joining the family business without having "Johnson and Clone" on the side of the van.
World leaders should act now to prevent human cloning. I cannot understand why they are dragging their feet. Do they imagine they could use this power and clone themselves so that they can govern for ever and ever? George Bush is doing little to prevent it, as did his father George Bush. Oh no, I've just had a terrifying realisation...